Procrastiknitting

Blind Faith-Can't Find My Way Home

2011-01-18T21:13:00.000-08:00

How about NO.....

2011-01-16T12:36:00.000-08:00

I never was one to make New Years resolutions but this year I made a few.

First one was to not put up with any more crap from my landlord or the nutters he keeps moving into the house.

Simple - move out and take my money with me.

I am sick of the CONSTANT noise, and since he has moved hookers into the house and I DO NOT mean "ladies that crochet for a living", 2 syringes have shown up under my door, and I can't go to the bathroom without running into some weirdo in the hall.

No.

I am done with his craziness.

The two lovely gay men downstairs are moving out for the same reason.

New girl moved in 3 days ago and is also leaving come February.

(I don't know how all the U-Hauls will fit on the street, everyone is bugging out so fast.)

Most of my stuff is already in storage and I am in a hotel in Almaden until I find a place to rent out here.

Happy New Year!

May it get better for all of us...because last year sucked like it was vying for a Dyson Award.

Hotel Dwelling

2010-07-30T20:19:00.000-07:00

This is week 3 of hotel dwelling because the place I live at is too hideous to live in anymore.
I am just DONE with it.
This is one time when I wish I had a truck so I could just shove everything into it, haul it to the storage unit, and be done with it.

Yes, I DID call you a Dickhead

2010-07-22T01:32:00.000-07:00

DICKHEAD

As tempted as I am to plaster your asshole-face on every post, fence and bathroom wall, I won't.

Sorry Sean, the only thing a Pike is good for is mounting the head of the enemy on...preferably in the front yard.

YOU are not even worth the effort, you twit.

Seriously...trying to pull The 48 Laws of Power crap?

Let's do the math:

40 years old and have had 2 girlfriends
Can barely keep a job as a waiter
Lie to everyone
Live in a shithole
Drink HORRID piss-water beer
Have the attention span of a gnat on crack
I have a few other points that I will keep to myself

You really are a total loser...

Seriously...as a man, you fucking SUCK!

Anyone that would think "Selective Honesty" was EVER a good idea needs a hard kick in the taint.

All I can say is you pissed me the fuck off, Buster...so if you see me walking, you best run and hide.

I feel sorry for the people that think you are their friend.

You Sir, are nothing but a leech dressed in a human-suit.

I would spit in your face if you were worth the water - You are not.

Me - June 11 2010

2010-06-12T04:00:00.001-07:00

Waiting to leave for the Stiff Little Fingers show at The Blank Club.

Howlin Wolf I´ll be back someday 1964

2010-06-10T12:32:00.000-07:00

Happy 100th Birthday Howlin' Wolf!

Chester Arthur Burnett (June 10, 1910 – January 10, 1976), better known as Howlin' Wolf, was an influential American blues singer, guitarist and harmonica player.
With a booming voice and looming physical presence, Burnett is commonly ranked among the leading performers in electric blues; musician and critic Cub Koda declared, "no one could match Howlin' Wolf for the singular ability to rock the house down to the foundation while simultaneously scaring its patrons out of its wits."^[1] Many songs popularized by Burnett—such as "Smokestack Lightnin'," "Back Door Man" and "Spoonful"—have become standards of blues and blues rock.
At 6 feet, 6 inches (198 cm) and close to 300 pounds (136 kg), he was an imposing presence with one of the loudest and most memorable voices of all the "classic" 1950s Chicago blues singers. Howlin' Wolf's voice has been compared to "the sound of heavy machinery operating on a gravel road". This rough-edged, slightly fearsome musical style is often contrasted with the less crude but still powerful presentation of his contemporary and professional rival, Muddy Waters - although the two were reportedly not that different in actual personality - to describe the two pillars of the Chicago blues representing the music.
Howlin' Wolf, Sonny Boy Williamson (Rice Miller), Little Walter Jacobs and Muddy Waters are usually regarded in retrospect as the greatest blues artists who recorded for Chess in Chicago. Sam Phillips once remarked, "When I heard Howlin' Wolf, I said, 'This is for me. This is where the soul of man never dies.'" In 2004, Rolling Stone magazine ranked him #51 on their list of the 100 Greatest Artists of All Time.

LSG Quote of the Day:

2010-06-09T08:17:00.000-07:00

"Good luck with that, we’ll see you on the 32nd of Never at kissmyass o’clock." - Lizardsmells

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

What's That Smell?

2010-06-08T23:22:00.000-07:00

"THAT will be the stench of the bridge you just burned, Miles."

THIS time this clown has gone WAY too far with his horseshit and he bloody well knows it.

He called the cops on me today because I am capable of opening his door with my library card.
We know this is true because I had to use this skill when he was in the hospital for well over a week.
His assistant locked her keys in his room and as usual, the router needed to be re-booted.
Keep in mind he has known about this for a month then ask yourself why he is just now pulling this crap.
(No - You didn't step in shit...this crap just STINKS like it.)

Also keep in mind that I FLIPPED MY SHIT on him earlier today because the kitchen has been utterly FOUL for over a month and I have already mentioned it civilly twice.

See where this is going?

All the sudden this evening he gets it into his head that his missing car parts MUST have been stolen by me...along with anything else he can think of because he is an idiot.

"Do you admit you broke into my room with a credit card while I was in the hospital?"

"Yes, I had your assistant with me when I did it. Her keys were locked in and the router needed a re-boot."
"So you admit it?"

"Is that not what I just said?"

"I'M CALLING THE COPS!!! blah, blah, blah..."

He then whips out his phone and dials the cops lickety-split.

I walk into my room and call his assistant, and tell her what is going on.

The police have been to this house for numerous reasons over the years and have NO LOVE for Miles, so the lone cop that showed up must have drawn the short straw.

Miles babbles on to the poor bastard for a few minutes as I stand in my doorway listening to his bullshit, until he and PB come upstairs to his room.

PB says hello as I do as well, then follows Miles.

He opens his door and the Reek of Green Weed fills the air, and I notice he still has 3 bongs sitting out on his dresser. PB looks over his shoulder at me with a smirk and I shake my head laughing and go back into my room.

Miles seems to forget all about the skanky little 20 year old crack-whore he had IN HIS ROOM while he was away at dialysis...the one I KNOW stole MY new phone...
I also KNOW he knew she did it because I know when it was delivered and when it was activated...and those two's asshole smirking faces when they asked me what I was waiting for.

He kicked her skrawny ass out a few weeks back.

We noticed the house stopped nearly burning down after she was gone.

So needless to say PB got stuck listening to Miles rant like a lunatic for over an hour and it got Miles absolutely NOTHING other than pissing me right the fuck off.

His assistant peeled back the foreskin of misconception and applied the wire brush of logic to bring enlightenment to his pea-brain...then verbally taint-kicked him for behaving like the Emperor of Doucheland. (I LOVE her. She is as sweet and adorable but is a Scorpio like me so if she gets pissed-off, the stinger comes out.)

Needless to say Me and Mine are going to move out the second we find a new place.
We have the money seeing as we have wanted out of this Loony-Bin for quite awhile.

We are taking our stuff and our rent money elsewhere so that little pissant can go live in a fucking DUMPSTER for all I care.

I am done, and I am feeling pretty forked over.

Hello Again Facebook

2010-06-08T09:49:00.000-07:00

Crap.

Had to reactivate the account as I totally forgot it was my link to Bootsy Collins' Funk U.

Shiznit.

Oh well.

Anyone acts like a dick to me and they get KA-BLOCKED!

Goodbye Facebook

2010-06-07T21:58:00.000-07:00

It took long enough, but I finally had to deactivate my Facebook account this morning because it was just getting to be too much bullshit for me to handle.

Enough people that I actually cared about pretty much called me a piece of crap that I finally melted down and and a nervous breakdown last week.

I am still not anywhere near to being over it, but at least I am somewhat functional as a human being again.
For a few days it was pretty touch-and-go.

So - I break down and am not online because about all I can manage to do is cry in the corner, shake like a leaf, and vomit...A LOT.
Eating is not happening so after a good 4 days of no food I am REALLY not doing well.

I was already badly dehydrated before any of this happened but it got so bad that both legs have been cramped for a week.

I should have gone to a hospital but I have no insurance, so that isn't happening.

I think I have drunk a swimming pool's worth of water, a few gallons of Gatorade, and enough vitamin water to float a barge...and I am still a little parched, but better.

On the plus side as I try to get my life back - I quit drinking and smoking.
I can't stand the smell of either one.

So as all this crap is going on I am dealing with Jekyll and Hyde aka my "friend" Bruce who loves me and is my friend always one minute...and then the rum starts talking and he thinks I am a loser piece-of-crap...private message after private message...so it isn't like anyone else has ANY clue what is being said.
It was private badgering.

Fuck.

I don't need or want that crap.

I forgot to send a couple of people my contact information before I split, which I regret, but I am not about to go back onto Facebook any time soon if ever again.

I was tempted to post Joan Jett's "Fake Friends" but I am just not feeling it.

Billy Preston says it just fine for me.

The Bodysnatchers - Do Rock Steady

2010-06-07T20:15:00.000-07:00

No matter how depressed I get, this song always cheers
me up.

"don't look back"

2010-05-22T15:34:00.000-07:00

See you in my dreams

2010-05-12T11:47:00.000-07:00

Don't have much to say.

I don't handle losing friends very well.

Another Park Another Sunday

2010-05-11T20:16:00.000-07:00

Some days are better than others.

Getting ditched by my "friends" makes me feel like the punch-line of a huge joke.

"Oh no...we will always be friends..."
(Translate that as when other people need ME, I am their best friend, but when I need someone I am SOL.)

For the record - I don't have "Anger Issues" so much as I DO have "Abandonment Issues"...and I keep getting ditched by people.

See the dog chasing its tail in this scenario?
(I sure do.)

Fuck Up My Life Book

2010-05-09T22:03:00.000-07:00

Quite frankly, Facebook sucks.

I love it for the ability to find old friends, but other than that it can be quite the soul-sucking whore.

I don't really need the entire planet to know everything about me, nor do I think more than a half dozen of them give a rat's ass anyway.

I am boggled by those tossers that act like they are my friends when I know damned well they can't stand me and just want to nose in on my business so they have something to rubberneck.

I DID learn that I have a few real friends that I didn't even know about. (I am looking at YOU Scooter, Larry, and Bruce.)

It never ceases to amaze me that the people that come to my rescue when I am drowning are never the ones I expect.

Then again...I KNOW there is an Angel out there in a beat-to-shit orange toyota pick-up truck, and a little Japanese lady...and....

Well...it is odd how meeting one person, one time, one day...can utterly change your life.

Elmore James - Shake You Money Maker.

2010-04-30T20:14:00.000-07:00

Les Claypool Frog Brigade - Barrington Hall

2010-04-28T23:16:00.000-07:00

The Walls of Barrington Hall (1988)

2010-04-28T23:15:00.000-07:00

This is my life.

I NEVER forgot Barrington Hall.

How the fuck could I?!

Summertime -- Billie Holiday 1936

2010-04-28T19:13:00.000-07:00

Alison Krauss-Gillian Welch - I'll Fly Away

2010-04-28T18:05:00.000-07:00

Mark Knopfler & Chet Atkins - Instrumental Medley

2010-04-27T23:04:00.000-07:00

Dickies - Paranoid 26-7-1979

2010-04-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

BUZZCOCKS - WHAT DO I GET

2010-04-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

Blue Oyster Cult Godzilla

2010-04-25T20:42:00.000-07:00

Jumpin Jive - Cab Calloway and the Nicholas Brothers

2010-04-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

Tower of Babble

2010-04-16T02:36:00.000-07:00

Okay...I am going to wax nostalgic...deal with it.

I miss the HELL out of Tower Records.

You know how some people and places stick with you like super-glue?

Tower is one of those things.

After 20 years...my best and most cherished friends are STILL from Tower.

As we turn into old farts, a lot of things change...but I am glad to still talk to other old farts I knew from "back in the day".

We are STILL fucking AWESOME!

Shut Off the Computer and Go To Bed

2010-04-12T00:37:00.000-07:00

Some days make me just want to hide.

I hate being social.

I always say the wrong thing.

Ugh

Misfit Toys

2010-04-10T12:29:00.000-07:00

In my mind, I live on an island of Misfit Toys.
I like it that way.
ANYONE can have Barbie, the cheap plastic bitch....but my island is special.

This is where the "odd" toys went when everyone pushed us away.

We had to find a place of our own.

Now as time has gone on, and the "normal" toys are bored as hell, they see our Island of Misfit Toys in the distance...

..Things explode. (We wanted to know if Powdered Fake Cream was explosive...it is) Giggles are heard on the wind.
Now and then the "Normals" swear they hear "ONE OF US!" being chanted, but they can't be sure....
...because they are not ONE OF US...and can only dream of our wonderful wiggly world.

We used to dream of being accepted by "Them" and now they pay money to hang out with us...if we will let them.

I wouldn't want to live any other way.

I don't know that I could...nor would I want to.

My Friend is AWESOME!

2010-04-08T20:10:00.000-07:00

As much as I am able to write, I don't have the gift for it that Jimmy does.

I can count my best friends on one hand.

Jim Brick is in that rare group of special people.

Labne

2010-03-26T17:42:00.000-07:00

If you have not tried this wonderful stuff, you should.
I use it in place of cream cheese and mayo.
Live probiotics are good things, and it is yummy!

I used it instead of mayo in my infamous Purple Potato Salad.
Recipe (of sorts) will be forthcoming shortly.

I am debating on making a fresh batch with pictorial goodness.

Yogurt is your tummy's friend.
Invite it to dinner more often.

Foodgasm

2010-03-06T20:43:00.000-08:00

Today was a very good day.

It is no secret that I hate egg-rolls...except for the ones that my best friend's mom makes.

Lee's egg-rolls are so yummy I have dreams about them.
They are marvelous little bites of Vietnamese goodness.

Today she taught me how to make them.

Honored?

You bet your fuzzy butt-cheeks!

Any time someone I respect teaches me anything I am honored, but food is extra special.

She cooks like my grandmother so there are no exact measurements - it is done by sight, feel and smell.
I like that as it is comfortable to me.

As we prepared everything we talked about how food made with love tastes better.

It does.

I have the same feeling about my knitting - which is why I don't knit when I am in a bad mood.
I don't want to weave anger into my cloth.
(I don't cook when I am cranky either - because the food tastes like crap if I do.)

One of the things that I was thinking about as I wrist-deep in tasty filling goo was my friend in Egypt - who was horseback riding around the pyramids today.
How cool is that...to be able to see one of the Great Wonders of the World from horseback?
I added it to my Bucket-List.
Before I kick the bucket, I want to do that.

I know a lot of people that say they don't like Vietnamese food but I think they never had any that was home-made.

I love it because it is fresh and even vegetables I don't like seem to magically transform into tasty little morsels.

I had forgotten how refreshing cold orange slices are.

Now I am going to make a nice pot of Sleepytime Tea and write a bit before bed.

My Friend Across the Globe

2010-02-28T21:15:00.000-08:00

I can't say that you meet special people that change your life once in a lifetime because if you pay attention there will be a lot of them.

I my case though, My Spirit-Brother from Egypt has made my life a better place.

As much as I have bagged on how lame Twitter is, I take all of it back.

I LOVE Twitter because it has opened doors to me that I never dreamed of.

I met a friend there that has awakened my good side...and I can not thank him enough for that.

He broke through years of writer's block and depression just by being a good friend.

I can't even say how much that means to me because I can't find the words...maybe they don't exist, but this one person has made my life a better place.

If every person on this planet went out of their way to make one person's life better, how cool would that be?

Thank you for holding up the light so I could find my way out of the darkness, Brother.

Love,

Me

Yeah, I know...

2010-02-24T15:11:00.000-08:00

I owe y'all updates and babble and shit.

Sorry.

My brain has been devoured by Twitter, and Stitches West.

This is what happens when I crawl out of my hermit-cave and am exposed to direct sunlight.

Could be worse - I didn't burst into flames.

If I rub both brain cells together hard enough, I might be able to form a decent smoke signal.

First, I have to go play Pothole Frogger and hope a run-away Prius doesn't stuff it into the back of my car.

EXCUSE ME??!

2010-02-22T21:43:00.001-08:00

LOOK Twatface,

Yeah, you...the doormat downstairs.

You are a fucking moron.

Let us review WHY I am not sorry I called the cops on that POS you feel the need to fuck:

A) BIG-ASS hole in the wall that HIS DUMB ASS put there.

B) Machete gouge in the garage door.

C) He is a drunken moron with a lot of big knives.

I could go on about this waste of sperm and an egg, but why bother?

"But I love him..."
YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT!

Is this not the same dead-beat that has no job, yet calls you every name in the book while you stand there like a brain-addled sheep?

Look Toots, you can do what you want with your sorry excuse for a life, but that assclown is not coming back into this house.

Either date higher up the food-chain, or pack your crap and get the fuck out, and take your whiny mutts with you.

Blogging FAIL

2010-02-22T20:00:00.000-08:00

I blame the cat.

I actually DO have things I want to write about but at the moment the snuggle-cat is winning the attention war.

Time to snuggle with 20 pounds of purring goodness and watch a movie.

Since I am in a Carrie-Fisher-Fucking-RULES mindspace, I think I will pop on The Blues Brothers for the thousandth time and sing to the snugglepuss.

Night all.

Ranty-Babble is coming up shortly

2010-02-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

As a matter of fact, I have a lot on my mind.
I am trying to mash it all into something coherent before I turn into Rant-A-Saurus-Wrecks.

Just one moment or two.

Upcoming will be an open letter to Kevin Smith, waxing poetic on Wil Wheaton, and the usual LSG yammering that I bore the crap out of my friends and frenemies on Ravelry with.

At the moment, I have to go play dog-mom to Thing 1 and Thing 2 downstairs before they have a spaz.

Missing Person Alert

2010-02-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

Andrew Koenig Missing Since Valentine's Day

If anyone sees this person, please call 604-717-2534

Tag Cloud of EPIC Proportion

2010-02-20T21:38:00.000-08:00

* 1000-on-the-eyeroll-scale
* 14-months
* 1980
* 2010twats
* 25years
* 2978
* 2atatimesocks
* 3d
* 80s
* 8thgrade
* a
* a-bit-of-slap-and-tickle
* aaaa-tuh-lann-tuh
* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
* aaaaaaallllpacaaaaaaaasss
* aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!
* aaaahhhhhhh
* abs
* absolution
* ack
* acneriddenangst
* actual-crochet-content
* actually-its-not-what-i-thought-it-was
* actually-pretty-good-at-dodgeball
* actualsammichtype
* addi
* addi-clicks
* addicted-to-texting
* addis-ftw!
* adolescent
* adultkidslivingathome
* adventures-in-china
* adverts
* advice
* aion
* akc
* alcohol
* allyangandnoying
* almost-all-my-crushes-in-one-place
* alsofattireisonsalethisweekfor$10acase
* alsome
* am
* am-i-biting-off-more-than-i-can-chew
* amethystcottage
* amigettingoldorjustcrazy
* ancestry
* and
* and-a-chocolate-mint-cupcake-too
* and-i-cant-get-out
* angel
* angry
* angst
* animalrightstakentothenextlevel
* anime-hair
* annoying
* annoyinglyperky
* anotheraddictedtwatweasel
* anthropomorphism
* antibrokenlegmojo
* anyofyoutwatsseenthisdude
* apologiesareamazing
* apoloohno
* appliances
* appropriatesleepinghabits
* apps
* arrr!
* art
* asheville
* assbagel
* atleastfortonight
* attentionwhore
* attitude
* audiobook
* auntieme
* australia
* autismisneverboring
* auuuugh
* awesome
* awesomesauce
* awesomesockyarnwut
* awesomewithsauce
* awkwardtimes
* awol
* awwwwwwwshit
* babies
* baby!
* baby-blanket
* baby-got-back
* babygatearoundtheribswasafineideaintheory
* back-off-bitch-thats-my-shit
* backless-gown
* backpain
* bad
* badbadbadliterature
* badhandbad
* badknitter
* badmovie
* badunkadunk
* balls
* balls!
* bamboosneedles
* bangthatlikeadrum
* barenakedlady
* bastards
* bbq
* bebehs-yay!!
* bed-head-is-a-good-look-for-me
* bedtime
* beer-with-a-yankee
* beerandyarn
* befe
* bemydog
* bemyentrelachoar
* benjamins
* best-movie-ever
* better-lonely-than-sorry
* bewbiesquishes
* bewbs
* big-sister-sweetness
* bigsnotball
* bigthreeoh
* bike
* bike-taxi-test-run
* bikini
* bills
* bionic-chile
* bioshock2rocksmyfuckingworld
* birthday
* bitch
* bitchandmoan
* bitchshitfuckcunt
* bitchslap
* bitchtacularfriends
* bitchy
* blame
* bleck
* bleh
* bling
* blocked
* blood
* bloodbloodblood
* blow
* blowme
* blowmechemistry
* blueballsonmyface
* bodybuilding-just-got-more-work-related
* boiled
* boob
* boobies
* boobies!!!
* boobs
* book
* bookclub
* boomerangkids
* booty
* booya
* booze
* boozeboozebooze
* bored
* bored-at-work
* boredonafridayafternoon
* bowl
* boxisslangforvagina
* boy
* boyfriend
* brain
* brain-damage
* brant
* bread
* breadbreadbreadbread
* bridesmaid
* briecansuckmyass
* bright
* brokenglass
* brooks-farm-is-hot
* bruised
* bullshit
* bunchers
* bungiecordfail
* bunny
* burnttoablackcrisp
* business
* butt
* buttons!
* buyinshitforme
* buymycheaptealdeer
* bwahahah
* bweeheehee
* byebyebookstore
* cable-ties
* cablefreak
* cake
* cakefrogpeen
* californication
* camera
* can-i-watch
* cancer
* cannot-brain-today
* cannotkeepasecretfor2seconds
* canonlypickmynosesomuch
* cant-decide-on-dx
* cant-remember-the-damn-song
* cant-resist-sale
* cantcalmdown
* cantfeelmyfingersgonnapuke
* canttakeapicturetosavemysoul
* cantwaittoseecabinetappointments
* cantyouseehesjustnotthatintoyou
* canyousaydumbass
* captainphil
* car
* carcrash
* caron
* cast-on
* cat
* cats
* catsawaymicewillplay
* catsdisobeythelawsofphysics
* cereal-ftmfw
* change-the-world
* charitable-girl-is-charitable
* charity
* chart
* charts
* chase
* chat
* cheating
* checkthetemperatureinhell
* cheechmarin
* cheese
* cheesemaking
* chemistry
* chicken-related-injuries
* chocolate
* chocolate-starfishes-and-black-roses
* chokers
* chong
* choose-your-own-adventure
* christmas
* cinnabomination
* cinque-terre
* circular
* circular-needles-ftw
* citron
* citron-knitalong
* classy
* classy-birds-are-overrated
* clothes
* cluster-fuck
* cock
* cocks
* cocksucker
* cocksuckers
* cold
* coldshitinmyear
* color
* colorfulsheeprocks
* colourful!
* colourwork
* competition
* confusion
* congestion
* continuum
* cooooookieeeee
* copingmechanisms
* copywank
* copywrong
* corrupting-the-spice
* corrupting-young-minds-with-science
* coulditbeanysmaller
* couldnt-have-aimed-better-if-i-tried
* crackles
* crafty-hoars
* craftygoodness
* crappy
* crayons-really
* creepers
* creepy
* creepyguys
* criticaleye
* crivens
* crochet
* crochetfail
* crotchfruit
* crotchfruit-goodness
* cruisebacon
* cunt
* curling
* curmudgeon-love
* cuss-o-rama
* cut-a-bitch
* cutabitch
* cutitoff
* dammit
* damncomputers
* damnedallergies
* damnitthatwasthelastofmyawesomesauce
* damnkids
* dance!
* daria
* dark
* darnkids
* date
* day
* daytona
* dayum
* deadassbrokenolonger
* deadliestcatch
* dealwithitwhydontcha!
* deardiary
* dearjesuswhydon
* death
* deathbed
* defarge
* demanding
* depo
* derby
* diaf
* diamff
* dickfrancisdied
* did-somebody-say-shakespeare
* did-you-know-that-an-egg-cream-has-no-eggs-in-it
* didhereallyjustaskthat
* die-you-fucks!
* diediedie
* diemotherfuckers
* dildosoap!!!
* dip
* dirtnasty
* dirtylittlesecret
* dirtylittlesecrets
* dirtymind
* dirtyvaginabike
* disagreers
* discrimination
* discussemhere
* dismemberment
* disneysnowglobessuckbigtime
* dissection
* distraction
* divorce
* divorce!party
* do-you-feel-anything-wiggling
* doesmynoselookfat
* dogs
* dogs-need-a-home
* dolls
* dolphduzelvisha!!
* domyresearchforme
* donateandmakeyomommaproud
* dongs
* donnas
* dont-fuck-with-the-knitter
* dont-make-me-check-my-knitting-bitch
* dontbelievetheinternet
* dontbesuchapussy
* dontknowwhatthehellilldo
* dontmesswiththesinatrastheyvegotconnections
* dontwannaloseafriend
* doppleganger
* douchecanoe
* dr-dre
* drag-race
* dragondicksofsavannah
* drargulator
* dress
* drink
* drinkingheavily
* drkaydgirltothesrecue
* drunk
* drunkyface
* dry
* dtmfa
* dublin
* ducats
* dumb
* dumb-ass-reporter
* dumbass
* dumbasshusband
* dustinmyeyes
* earburnearburn
* earthgirlsareeasy
* earthquake
* earwax
* eat-my-hole-motherlicker-i-knit-it-with-my-own-fucking-hands
* eat-right
* eat-up-with-the-dumbass
* eating-disorder-hoars
* eatme
* eatshitanddieyougoddamnfuckingsnow
* editing
* education
* elements
* elitisttwat
* email
* embarrassed
* enabler
* endpapermitts
* engineering
* entitlementwhat
* entrelac
* entrelacat
* entrelacftw
* entrelacrak
* envy-i-haz-it
* epic-gas
* epicawesome
* epicness
* erp
* errands
* etc
* etiquette
* etsy
* evil-toddlers
* ew
* ewewewewew
* excel
* exercise
* expandingmycomfortzone
* explodingtatas
* explosivepoo
* eyebleach
* facebook
* fail
* failboat-central
* fairy
* family
* farts
* fashionwillneverbethesame
* fat
* fatty
* feels-weird-when-i-fart-though
* feminist
* fest
* fiber
* fiberfest
* fierce
* finallyarrived
* finger-crossing
* fingerbike
* fingering-your-mom
* firefly
* firstaidkit
* flail
* flaking-is-the-way-to-go
* flame
* flyingspaghettingmonster
* flyingsquirrelarms
* fml
* font
* food
* foodthatsbadforyou
* foolishness
* ford-has-mike-roe
* fortunecookie
* fos
* freeshit
* freeyarn
* freshpeaches
* fridaynight
* friend
* friends21stbirthday
* friendsdontletfriendsknitdrunk
* frogitis
* from-behind
* fubank
* fuck
* fuck-a-duck
* fuck-cancer
* fuck-february-6
* fuck-me-running
* fuck-yeah
* fuck-yeah-homemade
* fuckedupplans
* fuckiambroke
* fuckihatethisschool
* fucking-entrelac
* fucking-fuck
* fucking-get-your-metaphors-straight!!
* fucking-shit
* fuckingdeadbeatbrother
* fuckingfantastic
* fuckingfreecycle
* fuckingfuckerfuckfuckfuck
* fuckinghusband
* fuckinglostaddictionisgoingtocostmemoney
* fuckingloudmouthdogs
* fuckingsnow
* fuckingsonofabitchmotherfucker
* fuckingtowhardware
* fuckingvalentinesday
* fuckitihatemyhair
* fuckme
* fuckmethathurrrttssss
* fuckpolymers!
* fucktheaudit
* fuckyeah
* fuckyou
* fuckyouandyourteenageways
* fuji
* fun-fur
* fun-with-footnotes
* funatstitches
* funky
* funny
* funny-mean-names
* funny-music
* future-earworm
* gaaaaah
* gag
* gah
* game
* gaming
* garminismycopilot
* geek
* geeky
* get-tough
* getinmysackbendybitches
* getmeanicepack
* getoffmylawn
* getoverit
* getting-lonely-with-no-conversation
* giant-fucking-knockers
* gifts
* giggle-and-pee
* gimme-things
* gimmemychocolate
* ginger
* giraffe
* girl
* girlfail
* girlfriend
* give-til-it-hurts-tweasels
* givemeyourseed
* giveusyourinfo
* glasses
* glbt
* gnnrrrrghhh
* go
* go-knit-your-own
* goddamn
* goddamn-you-bbc
* goddamnassholekid
* goddamnbleach
* godrinksomewhereleseyougoddamnedlittleheathens
* goggies
* gogirl
* going-nuts-but-im-determined-cause-this-shit-is-purdy
* goldchain
* gonghayfatvalentinechoy
* gonna-cut-a-bitch
* good-sleep
* goodie
* goodness
* google
* google-stalking
* gosomewhereelse
* gotlotsofyarn
* gottaremembertobreathe
* graceful-as-fucking-always-bridge
* greener-than-you
* groceries
* gross
* grr
* grrrrrrrrcredit
* gtfo
* guess-i-need-a-new-box
* guide-dog
* hadepichotsweatysexlastnightwithaboyireallylike
* hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahaaahahaha
* hahahasarahpalinsucks
* hahapeenur
* hair
* haircut
* hairstink
* hairwank
* haiti
* haitimojo
* halp
* halp!!
* handsoff
* happy-anniversary-hoarbags
* happy-v-day
* happydance
* happygoddamnvday
* happylikemurderers
* haredryer
* haruni
* harvard
* hat
* hatedrivinginsnow
* hateyou
* hawt
* he-got-all-the-good-genes
* headache
* headsup
* heat
* hedidawaterchangejustforme
* hellfrozenover
* help
* help!
* help-a-hoar
* help-me
* help-me-sell-my-shit
* helpabitchout
* helpahoarout
* helpapuppy
* helpmehelpmehelpm
* helpmeimlost
* helpmenottothinkofanythingelse
* henrytheeighthiam
* henrytheeighthiamiam
* here-kitteh-kitteh
* heresyoursign
* hesdeadjim
* hessocute
* hibiscus
* high
* highexpectations
* highfidelity
* hilarious
* hit-upside-the-loaf-with-a-marlin-spike
* hoars
* holeee-shit
* holy-exploitable-batman
* holycampgroundbatman!
* holycrap
* holyfuckicandoit!
* holyshitim39
* holyshitimmagonnabesoretmarra
* holyshitthatsabout15inchesofleg
* home
* homemade
* honeyroasted
* hookers
* hookersforvday
* hopefully-you-washed-before-you-waved-that-thing
* horny
* hose
* hotbritishguy
* hotels-are-filling-up
* hothothot
* housemates-blow
* houston
* how-is-babby-formed
* how-many-times-has-pat-robertson-been-hit
* how-much-is-that-doggie-in-the-window
* how-old-am-i-
* howdareyougrowup
* howdidigetmyselfintothis
* howdoesonemakeafuckingchartoncomputersoicanofferitouttoyouhoars
* howthefuckdidigetupstairs
* hrm
* hugs
* huh-look-at-that
* human
* hump-day
* hurty
* husband
* i
* i-always-wondered
* i-am-a-doodlewhore
* i-am-not-a-whore
* i-dont-like-it
* i-hate-being-sick
* i-have-the-l
* i-have-the-mark-of-too-much-time-on-my-hands
* i-know-hes-a-stuffy-jackass-but-for-some-reason-i-still-want-to-bang-him
* i-like-bread
* i-love-my-mooncup
* i-love-you
* i-love-you-guys
* i-maded-you-a-pikchur
* i-miss-my-laptop
* i-think-i-like-it
* i-wanna-eat-but-cant
* i-want-a-new-bed
* i-want-one
* i-want-to-snuggle-your-funsize-malabrigo
* i-will-eat-your-fucking-heads
* i-wish-i-were-in-england
* i-work-with-hawtness
* iamawhinyhoar
* icandothis
* icannotbelieveiamdoingthis
* icehole-luv-colbert
* ick
* icordvaginabike
* idea
* idiocy
* idonotbendsir
* idontknowifthisisright
* idontknowwhatelsetouseasatagdoyouhaveanysuggestionsbecauseimaboutalloutafterthisone
* idratherbeknitting
* if-the-shoe-fits
* if-you-are-reading-this-i-have-been-murdered
* ifuckinghatelaundry
* ifuckinghatethisgoddamnedtown
* ignorant
* igotnomindleft
* ih8ufuqers
* ihasataxquestion
* ihazastoopid
* ihazthes
* ill-take-the-one-in-the-middle
* ilovemyfriends
* ilovemyrabbitbutitdoesntappreciatelingerie
* iloveyou
* iluvthis
* im-a-yarn-whore
* im-an-adult-damnit
* im-an-idiot
* im-bully-in-the-alley
* im-turning-into-a-monsterrrrrrrrrr-
* imawhineyasslittlebitch
* imeanreally
* imgayyoutwit
* imlazy
* imtoosexyforthisdress
* imustknowwhathappensafterthebombgoesoff
* in-the-shell
* indoctrinateme
* ineedanotherwordforvaginabiketaxi
* influence
* inpersonlsger
* insertclevertagshere
* internetdatinggonehorriblyawry
* internetidiot
* intrigued
* ipod-touch
* ireland
* ironicfiveyeardebtclash
* irreverant
* irs
* irule
* is
* is-it-lsglicious
* is-she-high
* isawsleekitbeastiesbox
* ishereallyworththis
* island
* isntthatjustswell
* isthatneutralanger
* isuck
* it-burns-us-preshus
* it-has-been-a-very-long-week
* italy
* itches
* its
* its-my-money
* its-not-what-you-think-it-is
* its-tiberiusvaginabikehousefire
* itsaboutfuckingtime
* itsbeenafuckinglongweekicantthinkofanymoretags
* itsfuckingcoldandsnowing!
* itsmybutt
* itsnotasbadasminedammit
* itsnotjustme
* itsnotlikeyourgonnagutanytonight
* itsprobablyok
* itstiberius
* itstuesdaybutimokwithit
* ittakeshowlong
* itwasfuckingmagic
* itwaslikealittlebitoflovemakinginabox
* iveseenbrucelivemoretimesthanicancountenvyme
* ivyadrena-is-never-going-to-tell-me-to-make-the-post-again
* iwannagetsome
* iwannagobecauseinevergoonthesethingsandiwannagodammit!!
* iwantmyshitalready
* iwanttohumpsleekitbeastie
* iwillcutabitch
* iwillsellthishousetoday
* jayne
* jeans
* jerking-off
* jiggawhat
* jobappssuck
* john-simm
* johnnycash
* joining-the-ranks-of-people-with-screwy-girlbits
* junkinthetrunk
* just-read-it
* justbackoff
* justlove
* kal
* karma
* kids
* killerkitty
* killthemall
* kitkit
* kitteh
* kittyyyyyyyyy
* klaus
* knitgasm
* knitpicks
* knitting
* knittingeverywherebitches
* knittingforsale
* knittingninja
* knittingwithmittens
* knitty
* kola
* krakens-drink-the-blood-of-sailors-silly
* kyoootness
* la-vida-loca
* lace
* lacebread
* ladygagapink
* landlord
* lastnightadjsavedmythesis
* laughed-so-hard-i-peed-mahself!
* lazyhoar-is-lazy
* learn-something-new-everyday
* learning-moment
* lease
* leave-me-alone
* leavemealone
* leg
* legolasleavesnotracebehind
* lets-change-everything-again-just-for-fun
* lets-hang-out
* letsdothis
* letslearnsomethingshallwe
* letters
* letthegodlessunite
* librarian
* libravox
* life-on-mars
* lifeisfuckinggood
* light
* like-id-use-pink-laceweight-anyway
* like-the-blind-men-and-the-elephant
* littlegreenmen
* littlemissmuffet
* littletwatweasels
* livejournal
* lizardtoes
* lol
* loladvertising
* lolcats
* loljapan
* lonely
* lonely-im-so-lonely
* look
* lookie!
* lookitmahbutt
* lookslikeapurplesnatch
* lookwhatidrew
* lookwhatimade!!!
* lopi
* lotion
* love
* love-the-south-except-sweettea-and-bugs
* loveactually
* lovehimsofuckingmuch
* lsd
* lsg
* lsg-for-haiti
* lsginhaiti
* lsgmojo
* lsgrecipes
* lsgtakesovertheworld
* lsgvd
* lucre
* lunch-break
* lunchtime
* lurrrrve
* lyingsnatches
* lynxtwist
* made-into-satay
* mademelateforwork!!
* madeyoulook
* magic-loop
* magicloop
* mäh
* mail
* mailbox
* maine
* majormojotweasels
* make-it-better
* makeitgoaway
* makes-me-smile
* makesmybloodboil
* makingmeuncomfortable
* mal
* mam
* mani-pedi
* manly-socks
* mantra
* mariel
* marketplace
* marriage
* mashups
* mason
* matcha
* math
* maybe-left-the-color-on-a-little-longer-than-i-meant-to
* maybe-they-do-listen
* mba
* me
* measure
* measurements
* meat-wagon
* medication
* meditation
* meetup
* meh
* memememememememe
* menage
* mike-is-zanti-mister-knit
* misogynist
* mittings
* mmmcitrus
* mmmmm
* mmmmmmmmm
* mmorpgsareforlsgers
* modem
* mojo
* mojo-central-baby
* mojoforgabrielle
* mold
* mom
* money
* money-from-the-government
* moneymoneymoney
* monkey
* mood-elevator
* morganfreemanwoulddoit
* motherfucker
* motorcycle
* movies
* movinonup
* mrj-to-the-rescue
* mtv-used-to-be-entertaining
* mucinex
* mulitpleof
* muriel
* music
* musicalhoars
* must-escape-the-poo
* my-crackberry
* my-husband-is-genius
* my-liver-is-crying
* my-mom
* mybfkicksass
* mybitsareturntodustandfalloff
* myear!
* myexisastalker
* myfiliscoolerthanithoughtwhichishardbecausealcoholismasideheisprettycool
* myswappartnerkicksass
* naps
* nascar
* nasty
* nataliedee
* nathanfillion
* natural-disaster
* natural-hoars
* naughty-brits-are-fun
* navelgazing
* nbclearnscience
* need
* need-a-new-best-friend
* needhelp
* needles
* needles-vs-hook
* needslessgrass
* nekked
* nervesaresoraw
* nervouscakes
* neverstoptherock
* new-bike-day
* new-car
* new-laptop
* newengland
* newenglandhoars
* newguy
* newjobmaybe
* nice-ass
* nickcave
* night
* nightmare
* no
* no-chocolate
* no-fair
* no-humping
* no-love
* no-not-premature-ejaculation-you-pervs
* no-pants
* no-vodka
* noadvice
* nobaby
* noboredomeating-dieting
* nodamncolor
* nofuckingway
* noideahow
* noideawhattomake
* noinsurance
* noireallymeanbangthistime
* noisyassholesitis2am
* nojudgement
* nom-nom-nom
* nomorecrotchfruit
* noms
* nonotthatkindofcheese
* nonotthatyoudirtyticket
* noob
* nooooooooo
* nosrsly
* nosybitch
* not-being-disrespectful-to-other-halfs-family
* notdrunkyet
* nothingsayslovinglikesomthingintheoven
* notreallybutsortofarickroll
* notspermyoupervertplantingseeds
* notthatkindofselflovin
* notthevaginagrilledcheese
* now!
* nowankzone
* nsfw
* nutless-wonder
* oceanside
* octopus
* oddness
* officedrama
* oh
* oh-ha-fucking-ha
* oh-ill-have-that-for-here-thanks
* oh-look-furry-things
* oh-no
* ohboy
* ohforthepedopheliaofitall
* ohfuckno
* ohfuckoff
* ohgodmeltycheese
* ohhellnoooooo
* ohhh
* ohlonelyme
* ohno
* ohnoestwoxchromosomes
* ohnotheydidnt
* ohtiberius
* oilcleansing
* oilyfacelotion
* okokthesongisgun
* old
* old-spice
* oldfriend
* oldonewasbetter
* olympics
* olympics-fail
* omfgstop
* omg
* omg-bewbs
* omg-is-he-stalking-me
* omg-no-trader-joes
* omgcapslock
* omgitseudy
* omgmyfatasshurts
* omgomgomg
* omgreallysavannah
* omgstacysmaaaash
* omgtheives!!!1!!!!1!
* omgtheworldisgoingtoshutdownnow
* omgwanthard
* omgwtfbbq
* one-eye-shut-to-focus-on-keyboard
* one-infant-please
* one-thousand-dollars
* onebrainnowaiting
* onestopshopping
* onion
* only-good-thing-about-superbowl-sunday
* only-my-brain
* ontheotherhanditsbetterthantelevision
* ooh-boy-better-load-up-on-ice-cream-now
* oohshiny
* order
* orgasm
* orly
* ouch
* out-of-the-mouth-of-babes
* ovaries
* overageskissmyass
* overuse
* ow-his-back-hurts
* owiemommy
* ownership
* owwwwwww
* pagesandshit
* pain
* paint
* painting
* pajamas
* pandora
* panty
* parodies
* partner
* pass-the-tissues
* patronsaintofdtmfa
* pattern
* peachcobbler
* peenscrubbedmyfaceclean
* peenscrubby
* penis
* penissoap
* penitence
* peoplewhoneedadivorcelawyerstat
* peoplewhoneedtodiaf
* perfectfit
* perv
* pervy
* pets
* philip-glenister
* photo
* photo-shho
* photochop-jackassery
* photography
* photohoaring
* photos
* phyllis-dobbs-1-gene-hunt-0
* picsoritdidnthappen
* picture
* piercing
* piercing-today
* pimp-our-fancy-pants
* pinkhellokittyt-shirt
* pirates
* pit-stop
* plantsforreallygoodpeople
* plastic-surgery
* play
* please
* please-to-be-true
* pleasedontburstmybubble
* pleasemisterpostman
* pleaseohpleaseohpleaseicanhasthisjob
* plottingsecretrevenge
* plumberscrack
* poledancing
* polls
* poorme
* poorpussy
* pop-rocks
* porpise
* portrait
* potatochips
* predicting-the-future
* pregnancy
* prementstural
* presents
* prettypretty
* prison
* problem
* processknitter
* procrastination
* project
* promisespromises
* proscrastination
* prose
* psychology
* ptooi
* pub-glasses
* pussy
* putthechachadown!
* putyournamehereandgetagoodconscienceinstantly
* pwned
* quatchi-sumi-miga--muk-muk-r-going-2-eat-my-soul
* quilting
* racing
* racist
* radio
* rage
* random
* randomthoughts
* ranty
* rapture
* ravelympics
* ravelympics2010
* raw
* rawr
* read-the-damn-sign
* real
* reallife
* redhead
* redhead-redneck
* redheadedstepchild
* rednecks
* redredredred
* redwarriorneedsfoodbadly
* regretsy
* religion
* rent
* repair
* restaurant
* restraining
* review
* rewardingmyself
* ricecooker
* ridingup
* right
* rights
* roasted
* robot
* robotlove
* rock-guitarists-can-suck-my-mic
* rock-sugar
* rockandroll
* roller
* rome
* router
* ruffles
* rum
* rupaul
* ruuuuuuuum
* sad
* sadfuck
* sale
* salted
* say-what
* scared
* scaredvaginabike
* scaredycat
* scary
* science
* sciiiiiiieeeennnncee
* scones
* scotland
* scuba
* seatbelt
* seattle
* see-ivyadrenas-rack-in-person
* self-pleasuring
* selfish
* selfish-knitter
* selflovin
* sellittomebaby
* sellyourshithere
* sequins
* serenity
* serial-killers-and-art-student-have-similar-tastes-in-decor
* seriously
* seriously-wtf-asshole
* seriouslythisneedstohappen
* sexual
* sexxxxxxyme
* sexy
* sexy-ianto
* shark-week-again
* sharkweek
* shawl
* she-gave-teh-big-muny
* shea-mousse
* sheknowslatintoo
* shhhcannottellanyoneelse
* shipping
* shit
* shoes
* shootmenowandendthepain
* shopping
* shortattentionspan
* shouldhavekeptmymouthshut
* shovel-tongued-anusbasket
* showme
* showthemtome!
* shrine
* shutyourcakehole
* sickcat
* sickfuckers
* silicone-ftw
* silk
* silly
* simple-socks
* sink
* sit-on-it-and-spin
* sit-on-my-face-and-tell-me-that-you-love-me
* skating
* skijump
* skinnyguywithcigarette
* slap-a-bitch
* sleephumping
* slutmonger
* smartarse
* smell-something-funny
* smellyproducts
* smileandnod
* smileytwat
* snailmail
* snarkywhores
* snot
* snotnosekids
* snotty
* snow
* snowblizzardmoresnowmoresnowmoresnowandthensome
* snowflake
* snowfuck
* snowpocalypse
* so-cute!
* so-excited-i-could-puke
* sock
* socks
* sockyarn
* sofuckkenfrustrated
* solution
* someone-else-is-cooking
* someone-remind-me-being-angry-is-bad-for-bebehs-in-the-belleh
* something-is-wrong-with-that-man
* somethingniceinmybox
* sometimesagirljustwantstodancearoundinherunderwear
* sorry
* space
* spam
* spare-some-change
* sparklecock
* sparkletwat
* sparkly
* spectra
* spectrum
* speculationwank
* spend-my-money
* spf
* spicy-handjob
* spindle
* spinning
* spinninginpublic
* spit
* splurge
* sponsored-by-the-high-fructose-cornsyrup-cabal
* spooky-or-cute
* spork
* spouse
* sprogontheway
* squeeee-part-2
* squeek
* srsshithoar
* stalkerparanoia
* stank-removal
* stanky
* stash
* steeplechasefictionftw
* stepawayfromtheinternets
* stephaniemyerinventedwerewolvesandyoushouldbeashamed
* stephie
* stfu
* stinkfinger
* stinkypee
* stockinette
* stoopid
* stop
* stopsleepingontheremote
* stoptryingtosaveme
* strangers-pubes
* strangesenseofpride
* streamofconsciousness
* stress
* strike-a-pose
* strong
* studentloan
* students
* studintz
* studip
* stuff-my-pussy-with-and-fail
* stuff-my-pussy-with-meat
* stuff-my-pussy-with-printed-meat
* stuff-your-vaginabike-with-meat
* stuipdhighschoolers
* stupid-fucking-dating-sucks
* stupid-paper
* stupidasscunts
* stupidbastardfather
* stupidbiblethumpers
* stupidbitch
* stupidhottvshows
* stupidhungry
* stupidlongdistance
* suck
* suckitroomie
* sucks
* sucks-ass
* suckthis
* summer
* sunbonnet-fucking-sue
* super
* superbowlorer
* supportyourtwinkletwats
* surfacebar
* surprise-buttsecks
* surprise-gherkin
* swampfield
* swearing
* sweater
* sweet-relief
* sweet-tits
* syracuse
* taking-the-lazy-out-of-lsg
* taking-the-piss
* tardis
* tasty
* tattoo
* taxmonies
* tea-break
* teacher
* tealdeer
* team2010twats
* tears
* ted
* tedx
* teehee
* tell-all
* tellinsafety
* testiclebikewut
* testicles
* thanx
* thatfrogaintnoprince
* thats-what-i-was-missing
* thatsametrictonofbullshit
* the
* the-blues
* the-crazy-it-has-me-in-a-headlock
* the-good-bush
* the-stoopid
* the-studip-it-burns
* theater
* thebeautyofculturalexchange
* thelist
* themoreyouknow
* thesis
* thesisbegone
* thestateofcaliforniasbugetarywoesarenotmyfuckingresponsibility
* thethingsthatkeepmeupatnightwondering
* thetoe
* they-are-loud
* they-can-rebuild-her
* they-form-ghettos-and-do-not-assimilate
* thinkings
* thinkofthechildrenzz
* this-made-me-think-of-you-guys
* this-olympian-is-bangable
* this-sucks!
* this-will-be-fun
* thisisthespot
* thisiswhyfunfurisbad
* thomasmoore
* threethings
* tiberius
* tim-tams
* time
* timesuck
* timetravel
* tiniest-bit-proud
* tired
* today-in-lolwut
* todaytheweatherwasperfectiknitwenttotheparkwiththekidsanddidnothingishouldhavedone
* tommy
* too-fucking-much
* too-hard
* too-lazy-for-proper-tags
* too-lazzy-for-proper-tags
* too-sick-for-proper-tags
* toomanyprojects
* tootight
* torchwood
* tourist
* track
* tridents
* tucson
* tupac
* turbo
* turnoffthegoddamntv
* tv
* tvadvert
* tvsurvey
* twat-lickin-good
* twat-love
* twatwaffleidiocyatitsbest
* twatweasel
* twatweasels
* twatweasles
* twatweazle
* tweasel
* tweasles
* twihard
* twilightsoap
* twinbitterror
* twosocksatonce
* ufo
* ugandaantigaybill
* ukhoarinvasion
* ukulele
* unbelievablebiggotry
* under
* underuckingexposed
* universitybilingisdumb
* unprofessionaldickweed
* updateyourfuckingtrackingalready
* usandcanadia
* v
* v-day
* vagina
* vagina-bike-broke-as-fuck
* vagina-bike-case-study
* vagina-bike-fatass
* vagina-bike-hospice
* vagina-bike-math-goddess
* vagina-bike-side-note
* vagina-bike-taxes
* vagina-bike-wtf
* vagina-cheese-fail
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* vaginabarftaxi
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* vaginabikealamohoars
* vaginabikealoneonvday
* vaginabikearizona
* vaginabikeartwork
* vaginabikebassnectarpixiesremix
* vaginabikebeadsqueeeeeeeee
* vaginabikebike
* vaginabikebirthday
* vaginabikeboobcramp
* vaginabikeboozemobile
* vaginabikebruise
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* vaginabikecucumber
* vaginabikecupid
* vaginabikedecendinglikelocusts
* vaginabikedelivery
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* vaginabikedumbasstween
* vaginabikeeatabreathmint
* vaginabikeeducation
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* vaginabikefuckme
* vaginabikefuckyourhouseisonfire!
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* vaginabikeheadache
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* vaginabikeinterview
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* vaginabikekal
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* vaginabikelaptop
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* vaginabikes
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* vaginabikesnot
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* vaginabikestripperblog
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* vaginabiketaki
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* vaginabiketaxisocks!
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* vaginabiketaxiwebcam
* vaginabiketaxiyouboughtmyvan
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* vaginabikeurination
* vaginabikevaginasores
* vaginabikevalentine
* vaginabikevalentines
* vaginabikevasectomy
* vaginabikevertigo
* vaginabikewebdesign
* vaginabikewhathappenedtoyourhair
* vaginabikewiki
* vaginabikewikipedia
* vaginabikewtf
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* vaginacracks
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* vaginahairtaxi
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* vaginajoanjetttaxi
* vaginamemories
* vaginamissingtaxi
* vaginanewbiketaxi
* vaginapeentaxi
* vaginapissedofftaxi
* vaginapissedthefuckofftaxi
* vaginayoucantcookforshittaxi
* vaginebiketaxidreams
* vagingacaturine
* vaginiabikebakingbread
* vagins-bike-omg
* valentines-day-sucks-donkey-balls
* valentines-woes
* valentinesday
* vant-write-properyly
* vd-tastes-like-ass
* vdaysucks
* venice
* vent
* venttldr
* vets
* video
* vodka
* vodka-for-breakfast
* voteearlyvoteoften
* waaaahmbulance
* wait-i-mean-my-face
* wanttoremoveheartswithaspoon
* warning
* wasitacatholicschoolperchance
* wasted
* wastingtime
* waterinthenose
* waxpain
* ways-to-weed-out-dumbasses-on-dating-sites
* we-are-tired
* we-cant-repel-a-two-year-contract-of-that-magnitude
* we-rock-at-fundraising-but-you-probably-know-that-already
* weaselmommaisthebestever
* webcomicbikevagina
* webs
* wecouldyoucouldicouldicord
* weirdness
* well-fuck-me-sideways
* wellfuck
* wellthisissudden
* weneededonemorehairthreaddonchathink
* werewolves
* wereyouborninabarnwithnobeds
* whaaaargaaaaarbllllll
* what-the-fuck
* what-the-hell
* what-to-do
* what-was-i-thinking
* whatdoyoulike
* whathappenedtothemorning
* whatimdoinginsteadofworking
* whats-the-postal-code-for-iceland
* whatsnew
* whatstheworldcomingto
* whatthefuck
* whattheunholyfuckityfuck
* whattodo
* whatwhat
* when-the-fuck-is-it-bedtime
* wheredoipickupmytrophy
* whereinthehell
* whiiiiine
* whine
* whinyhermit
* who-does-this
* whodoesthisshit
* wholetthedogsout
* whores
* why-do-i-buy-yarn-i-dont-need
* why-do-i-do-this-to-myself
* why-yes-i-am-a-hipster-thank-you-very-much
* whyamistupid
* whydidifrogthis
* whyjeebuswhy
* whythefuckamidoingthis
* whytheyallgottabeassholes
* whywonthegoaway
* willbeyourbestfriend
* wimminz
* woecake
* wollmeise
* worksucks
* world-travel-with-dirty-hoars
* worstparentever
* wtf
* wtfbbqzomg
* wtfdiditgo
* wtfdragons
* wtfmom
* wtfuckityfuck
* yakitysax
* yarngasm
* yarnlust
* yay-i-can-pet-yarn-without-snagging
* yeahitmatters
* yes-but-can-they-knit
* yesfineokayiwantaman
* yesimmental
* yo-ho-yo-ho-a-pirates-drink-for-me
* you-are-shitting-me
* you-can-sleep-in-the-wet-patch
* you-cannot-touch-my-monkey
* you-really-are-that-cool
* you-want-to-pay-me-for-what
* youarethedevilsseed
* youcouldknititwithknitpicks!
* youknowyouwanna
* youknowyouwantit
* yourecrampingmystyle
* youreturningmeintoanoldladybeforemytime
* yourmom
* yousirareanidiot
* yousuck
* yum-yum-i-want-more-rum
* zits-on-my-ass
* zomg!!
* zomg-my-hands-are-so-soft

VaginaBikeTaxi Love Wank

2010-02-20T21:19:00.000-08:00

Vaginatagcloud:
# vagina-bike-broke-as-fuck
# vagina-bike-case-study
# vagina-bike-fatass
# vagina-bike-hospice
# vagina-bike-math-goddess
# vagina-bike-side-note
# vagina-bike-taxes
# vagina-bike-wtf
# vagina-cheese-fail
# vagina-fahrrad
# vagina-mouse
# vagina-win
# vaginaallergy
# vaginaamazinghumantalenttaxi
# vaginaapogogytaxi
# vaginabarftaxi
# vaginabicycledildo
# vaginabikavaginasoap
# vaginabike-on-the-moor
# vaginabikealamohoars
# vaginabikealoneonvday
# vaginabikearizona
# vaginabikeartwork
# vaginabikebassnectarpixiesremix
# vaginabikebeadsqueeeeeeeee
# vaginabikebike
# vaginabikebirthday
# vaginabikeboobcramp
# vaginabikeboozemobile
# vaginabikebruise
# vaginabikecakefrog
# vaginabikecaston
# vaginabikecelerysticks
# vaginabikechaos
# vaginabikecharity
# vaginabikeclusterfuck
# vaginabikecough
# vaginabikecrebuttal
# vaginabikecucumber
# vaginabikecupid
# vaginabikedecendinglikelocusts
# vaginabikedelivery
# vaginabikedivorce
# vaginabikedogshow
# vaginabikedumbassteacher
# vaginabikedumbasstween
# vaginabikeeatabreathmint
# vaginabikeeducation
# vaginabikeemployed
# vaginabikefail
# vaginabikefml
# vaginabikefollowtherules
# vaginabikeforcedair
# vaginabikefortune
# vaginabikefreakout
# vaginabikefreetrip
# vaginabikefrogging
# vaginabikefucklikerabbits
# vaginabikefuckme
# vaginabikefuckyourhouseisonfire!
# vaginabikeglasses
# vaginabikegratitude
# vaginabikehairbrush
# vaginabikehairdye
# vaginabikehandjob
# vaginabikeheadache
# vaginabikeheadcold
# vaginabikehelp
# vaginabikehitlerhelpers
# vaginabikehostel
# vaginabikeinsertwittyjokehere
# vaginabikeinterview
# vaginabikeironchef
# vaginabikekal
# vaginabikeknittingmagazine
# vaginabikelaptop
# vaginabikelingerie
# vaginabikemethylocapsus
# vaginabikemousetoast
# vaginabikemusic
# vaginabikeneckwarmer
# vaginabikeoldmasters
# vaginabikeolympics
# vaginabikeolypmian
# vaginabikepeen
# vaginabikepetition
# vaginabikephlegm
# vaginabikepickle
# vaginabikepissup
# vaginabikeplantgrowth
# vaginabikepolygamy
# vaginabikepuppy
# vaginabikepurl
# vaginabikepussycat
# vaginabikes
# vaginabikesaveme
# vaginabikesexwithstrangers
# vaginabikeshetland
# vaginabikeshutthefuckup
# vaginabikesillyrap
# vaginabikesmellybuttcrack
# vaginabikesnot
# vaginabikesnowglobe
# vaginabikespaceship
# vaginabikesperminator
# vaginabikestopsleepingonthegoddamncouch
# vaginabikestripperblog
# vaginabikesurgery
# vaginabikesurprisevd
# vaginabikeswampfieldcowl
# vaginabikesweaterpuppies
# vaginabiketaki
# vaginabiketaxi
# vaginabiketaxiofwin
# vaginabiketaxiquestion
# vaginabiketaxisocks!
# vaginabiketaxiwaaaaaa
# vaginabiketaxiwebcam
# vaginabiketaxiyouboughtmyvan
# vaginabiketelevision
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# vaginabiketlc
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# vaginabiketourist
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# vaginabikeurination
# vaginabikevaginasores
# vaginabikevalentine
# vaginabikevalentines
# vaginabikevasectomy
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# vaginabikewebdesign
# vaginabikewhathappenedtoyourhair
# vaginabikewiki
# vaginabikewikipedia
# vaginabikewtf
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# vaginabikeyarntaxi
# vaginabikzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
# vaginacracks
# vaginaengrishtaxi
# vaginaexercisebiketaxi
# vaginafoodtaxi
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# vaginahairtaxi
# vaginahouse
# vaginajoanjetttaxi
# vaginamemories
# vaginamissingtaxi
# vaginanewbiketaxi
# vaginapeentaxi
# vaginapissedofftaxi
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# vaginayoucantcookforshittaxi
# vaginebiketaxidreams
# vagingacaturine
# vaginiabikebakingbread

I went NETWORK on the Idiots Downstairs

2010-02-20T09:45:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: It seems that I actually saved a few lives last night by calling the cops.
When I got back from the store this morning, Douchecanoe's now ex-girlfriend THANKED ME for calling the police.

That was totally unexpected, but now I am REALLY glad I did.

Douchecanoe was INSANELY drunk...to the point of trying to kill on of her friends with a fucking machete.
He said he wanted to hurt her too.

I didn't know ANY of this shit when I called the cops, I was just pissed off because he was being a loud asshole at 2am.

I called my mom and thanked her for raising me to have balls enough to do the right thing.

What kind of a moron would wake me up at 1 fucking 45 in the morning for ANY reason other than the house is burning down?

I'll tell you what kind of moron, the kind that is drunk mindless on Jack "ASSHOLE IN A BOTTLE" Daniels.

By the time these fools were about to get into a brawl, I called the cops.

Sorry folks, but there are some things in life that I WILL NOT put up with, and didn't.

I didn't even know about the HUGE hole they put in the wall last night.

The landlord is in the hospital or he would have flipped his shit on them last night before I ever got a chance.

When he finds out about that CRATER in the wall, he is going to blow a gasket.

Glad I had nothing to do with it.

(edit because I am an idiot that can't post a picture correctly on the first try.)

Joat Jett

2010-02-19T21:51:00.000-08:00

I love Joan Jett.

Always have.

Why?

Because she is just THAT cool.

Now Why Don't She Write?

2010-02-19T11:19:00.000-08:00

Deal with it...I write when I feel like it.

Depression has been kicking my ass, but I am working on dealing with it.

As much as I swore Hell would FREEZE OVER before I started Tweeting, y'all better buy some ice-skates.

Most of the time I am offline I am either geeking out to Bioshock 2, Dragon Age, Overlord, or I am reading a book.

Book reviews will be forthcoming.

Tired of Filth

2009-09-11T10:08:00.001-07:00

All in all I am really just sick to death of asshole-housemates.
For the last few years, it seems like a never-ending parade of jerks.

We rented a room in this place simply because the place we had set up to move into fell through at the last minute and we had no choice.
This is a 9' x 12' box' and we never planned on staying here for very long.
We also did not expect the DMV to be quite as incompetent as they have been...which is why we are still here.

I have never met the homeowner, but I do have to wonder what they were thinking when they rented this place to a fool that is on SSI and makes less than $1000 a month, when the rent here is $3000.

It is his two now ex-friends that are trashing this place.
They are some real pieces of work.

As it stands, the kitchen is unusable now because these people just dump their waste onto the floor and in the sink.
The back yard looks like a dump.
The stink from rotting food and dirty diapers is sickening.
I am done cleaning up after these people.
Try to put the trash in a trashbag?
They pour it all out onto the floor.
I am just done.

Everything we have in this house is in our room because these filthy pigs destroy everything they touch.

All we are waiting on is The Man's ID and then we are SO out of this shithole.

Filthy Fucking Housemates

2009-08-13T09:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, I finally did it.

My soon to be outmates are swine.

Here is the other blog dedicated to those of us that live with filty assholes like these: http://filthyfuckinghousemates.blogspot.com/

Are You High...You MUST Be to Send Me This Dreck

2009-07-16T14:58:00.000-07:00

Apparently my last landlady (read this as abusive wing-nut) doesn't seem to get it that "Utilities Included In The Rent" means exactly that - they are included.

That means you don't get to bug me 5 MONTHS later about the PG&E bill because I really don't give a shit.

Oh, the DECEMBER and JANUARY bills were high?

Gee, maybe you should take that up with your crotchdropping, Little Miss Can-Do-No-Wrong, and her deadbeat boyfriend, and YOURSELF, since the three of you CRANKED your lousy little energy-sucking plug-in heaters 24/7, and had all the TV's in the house on, other than mine, oh...and that was when you brought home that energy-sucking beast of a fridge too.

Has it dawned on you that using the oven as a heater also tends to drive up the old electricity bill?

How about TURNING OFF THE LIGHTS, which you idiots never did?

This is the middle of JULY, incase no one happened to notice, and you are just now figuring out your bills from DECEMBER?!

Yeah.

I bet you think you were oh-so-sly about that little deal you had with the new owners of the house.

The one where you made $2000 and screwed everyone...but couldn't resist running your mouth the the neighbors?

Yeah.

I got your number, toots.

It is a big fat ZERO.

That is exactly what you will be getting from me.

ZERO!

PWNED!!

2009-07-13T13:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Guinness World Record Book Wankers,

I wouldn't mess with these guys...unless you LIKE looking like a bunch of jackholes.

OMG U FAIL SO HARD

Jul. 13, 2009

EDITOR’S NOTE: This post is in response to an email FAIL Blog received from an attorney representing Guinness World Records Limited.

Dear Sir/Madam,

Thanks for writing us an email regarding the “Record Breaking Fail”. Unfortunately, douchebaggy cyber-bullying emails will only bring upon you more shame on your house. I am also resisting the urge to write this email in ALL CAPS.

I believe it is the duty of FAIL Blog(TM) to call out organizations when they encourage the public to do such things as “Break the record” for the “Most Individuals Killed In A Terrorist Act”. We firmly believe that our publication of your fail is protected under the concepts of fair use, commentary and non-trademark use. Please RTFM and we welcome you to teh interwebs.

Since we at FAIL Blog(TM) don’t have a legal defense department, we have complied with your request to remove the trademarked term and logo from the original image. We have used the “naughty bits filter” on the image to secure your naughty, naughty, trademark assertions. However, we have posted your email so that our audience can see why we had to remove the name of the failer from the image. I hope that this is the outcome you have expected as now NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW THAT GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS LIMITED HAS FAILED.

The full legal response can be read here: icanhaz.com/legalresponse

Cheers,
FAIL Blog

P.S.: This is what we think of your letter. ^

see more Fail Blog

Defriending

2009-07-13T11:45:00.000-07:00

I don't tend to de-friend people, I just often go into hibernation, but once in a great while someone just needs to but taint-kicked to the curb.

This is one of those times.

Sorry, Iowa CornFlake, but you are not worth my time in any way, shape, or form.

If you are unemployed and all you do is sit on your butt playing video games, you are basically a leech. In this case, you have children that you are not supporting, which makes me want to kick you in the taint TWICE!

Divorced 3 times?

I can see why.

Your kids should rank higher in your life than World of Warcraft, buster.

Your mom is a nice lady - too nice for her own good.

You are my age, and not even TRYING to find work...just mooching off of mom.

Catch up with me in a different lifetime, pal.

I just don't have the inclination to deal with people like you anymore.

The Greatest Honor

2009-07-10T20:28:00.000-07:00

For me, being accepted in a Vietnamese family is the greatest honor.

Learning about how to be respectful in an Asian culture is a new concept as it is a very different world than what I was raised in.

I welcome the challenge.

We live in a huge world.

Learning how to live together in harmony matters.

It Never Ends...

2009-07-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

We are now entering month 6 of waiting for Mr. Gothric's ID...and it is WAY past critical.
So far the DMV has been paid in full TWICE and today marks the second free re-shoot of his picture so they can continue to not send his ID, and lie about it.

It isn't like you can get an ID from anyone other than the DMV, and you can't cash a check without it, so in the last 6 months the only money we have had to live on is what I make.

Well kids, I am broke.
Like no money for food, broke.

I am pretty much at my wit's end.

I am down to eating half a sandwich a day, if that, and it is taking it's toll on my health.

Sick thing is, he has several thousand dollars in checks but we can't cash any of them because the damn DMV hasn't sent his ID.

When does this end?

LOVE

2009-05-27T09:43:00.000-07:00

This is the first piece of filet work I have done in years.
It reminded me right quick of why I actually prefer crochet over knitting.

I have been printing reams of old patterns from the Antique Pattern Library.
The only real problem I have is the directions.

As with most vintage crochet patterns, the instructions can be iffy at best, and non-existant at worst.
Then there is the difference between English and US terminology.
It makes things interesting to say the least.

What you don't see is 5 minutes later...when Josie is busily pulling the pins out of the blocking board for no other reason than she is a cat, and is being a pain in my ass.

Next up may well be a peacock in filet lace, but it is rather large and I still need to figure out what scale I want to make the thing in.
Hmmm....127 mesh across @ 5 mesh per inch in size 10 thread on a size 7 hook = 25.4 inches wide.
Yeesh.
Big sucker!

If I did thing thing out of regular worsted weight yarn it would be monsterous....and take miles of yarn.

Miffle.

Done and Waiting to be Blocked

2009-04-07T09:46:00.000-07:00

The Poems Hat is done, and waiting to be blocked.
It is slightly larger than I would have liked, but a little hot water should fix that.
If not, I need to find a bigger head to put it on.
Next time I will use size 8s instead of 10s, and may well just use the spiral rib for the whole thing.

It's raining.

Maybe I will do the Tiger Hat next.

Hat in Progress

2009-04-06T11:01:00.001-07:00

Here's the hat I am working on.

Let's see how much I can get done today.

Actually knitting!

2009-04-06T08:59:00.000-07:00

I am suddenly inspired to knit.

I always have the stuff with me, but haven't been feeling much of a creative urge lately.

Nice to have that feeling back.

I started knitting this hat on straight needles, but it was just driving me batty, so I re-started it on circulars.
Why knit something that is round, flat?
It makes no sense.

I'll probably post a pic or two in a bit.

Yes...I DO lag, Thanks for Noticing

2009-03-27T15:34:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know..."Why don't you write"?

I have been packing, and packing...and packing some more.
Heaven forbid I actually get rid of some of this crap, but I don't part with books and will probably not live long enough to use all the art supplies I have squirreled away over the years....but won't get rid of them either.

THAT is why storage units were invented...for crap-overflow.

Wells Fargo is on my official Shit-List-For-Life since they tried to steal The Boy's money and screwed us out of a place to live.
We actually had to sick the FDIC/Feds on them...and apparently we are not alone.
Boy finally figured out WHY I have two bank accounts at different banks, and neither of them is at Wells. (Wells Fargo can eat a bag of dicks.)

Can't Read a Chart

2009-02-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

DAMMIT!

It is a flipping GAUGE SWATCH...so why can I not get this thing to not look like ass?

Here's the first clue - I can't read knitting charts worth diddly.

This will be my 4th attempt at this sucker.

Barbara Walker - I both love and despise you.

Twisted Trees...you look awesome, but why must you suck like a Hoover to figure out?

It is NO secret that I loathe swatching.
(Although I know I must do it, I don't have to like it.)

Grrrr....knitting is supposed to be RELAXING!

miffle

Tower Mart Aliens

2009-02-06T12:34:00.000-08:00

Behold the Tower Mart in Lathrop, CA

They are EVERYWHERE!
This is the image you get when you stumble in the front door.

These are the bread aliens.
Kind of brings "loafing" to an art form, doesn't it?

One of the many spaceships, and the silvery thing in the right corner is a space kitty!

I LOVE Roadside Attractions.
This place is worth the 65 mile drive from San Jose.

Blogger, what is your deal?

2009-02-06T09:06:00.000-08:00

I had to fight with Blogger to get back into the bugger so I can post.

Blah, blah, blah...cookies, clear cache...whatever.

I am working on a pair of socks at the moment and being peeved at the idiotic way some instructions are written out.

K1, K2tog, YO, K3...The chart says it covers 6 stitches, but the math doesn't work out because it actually covers 7 stitches.

ARGH!

Calculator...you are my friend.

Long Lost UFO

2009-01-26T16:24:00.000-08:00

Poor mateless half-finger glove...it has been what?

3 years since I knit you?

Second Sock Syndrome hit me HARD when I knit you, so there you sit, forlorn in a sandwich bag...dreaming of the day when you can come out and play.

Your salvation is on it's way.

The cuff to your mate is done and now I working on the thumb gusset increases.

Yes, I know you were a needle-eater, but not to worry...I have new, stronger, nearly idiot-proof needles.

Rest easy, oh lonely glovelet...your friend is on the way.

Ticket Bastard...or Scalping, the Legal Way

2009-01-05T15:00:00.000-08:00

Ticketmaster says pricey resale tickets protect consumers

Excuse me, Ticketbastard, but are you HIGH?!

"Ticketmaster received complaints after an AC/DC show in Vancouver sold out in minutes, only for tickets to be quickly available for higher prices on TicketsNow. The resale site also charged up to $1,199 for a $44 face-value ticket to a recent Killers concert in Toronto — roughly a 2,500 per cent markup."

Sorry kids, but this is nothing but out-and-out SCALPING, and any moron that gives these clowns a dime DESERVES to get ripped-off.

I HATE Scalpers with a purple passion, always have.

The ONLY thing that was more irritating than a Dead Head on ticket Sunday were the scalpers, but at least they weren't my friggin' co-workers.

I worked for Bass Tickets, which is what Ticket Master was back when Bill Graham was still alive. (Miss you Bill, you were a gruff little shit, but you put on one hell of a show...and actually CARED if people had a good time.)

People wonder why I don't go to shows anymore.

Facts are, they aren't worth it anymore.

Concerts used to fun, and they didn't cost a mortgage payment for a few hours of entertainment.

I don't know about y'all, but I haven't had a raise in two years and the concept of paying more for ONE concert ticket than my car payment, insurance, phone bill, and rent combined just isn't gonna happen.
To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't cough up that much money to see ANYONE play, no matter how much I had in the bank.

Ticket Master owning TicketsNow is sickening to me.

I have one word for both of these greedy entities: BOYCOTT

Stockinette that Never Ends

2008-12-24T11:09:00.000-08:00

As much as I love the sweater that I am knitting, and the yummy dark purple alpaca/wool...I must admit that I am getting tired of the endless stockinette stitch.

I don't think I have ever been so happy to get to an armhole bind-off in my life.

Mind you, I still have two sides for the front and the sleeves to go before I get to the lace panels that I don't know how to do, but that never stopped me before.

Truth be told, I really want to be knitting socks at the moment but I am afraid that if I put this sweater down I will never finish it....and I really do want to finish it so I can WEAR IT!

On another note, my LYS is closing soon, which I predicted 6 months ago, but it still sucks to be right.

I KNEW that space was WAY too big to keep up for the lack of sales.

That, and in these trying times, a lot of people are just knitting from their stash and not buying as much yarn, or are buying online.

This WAS my spiffy little tree with my LSG tacky ornaments.

The tree is now in my closet.

Why?

Fucking cat.

Merry Christmas from the scooper of festive poo.

I Want my Tax Dollars BACK!

2008-12-04T11:54:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I know I don't update this thing enough, bite me...I'm knitting.

For those of you who don't know how LIVID the whole concept of bailouts makes me, gather round...because I am about to pull out my soapbox...again.

Starting with our little buddies at AIG.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aqyRUyX83Uqg&refer=home
"AIG May Double Some Salaries With Retention Payments "

Excuse me?

"Some executives in the group of 130 recipients will get more than $500,000 to stay through 2009, about 200 percent of their salaries, said the person, who declined to be named because the information hasn’t been publicly disclosed. An undetermined number of lower-paid employees will also get cash awards to dissuade them from quitting, the person said. "

For you kids that don't have a calculator handy, that's $5,000,000...to "retain" the fuckwits that ran the company into the ground in the first place.

So...you run a company to ruin and not only do you NOT get fired, you get TWICE what you were getting paid BEFORE you asked Uncle Sugar for some Tax Payer candy?

There isn't a "FUCK YOU!" big enough in this UNIVERSE to cover how I feel about you fools.

Bend over...I'm putting on my taint-kicking boots.

I am not even going to get into the Big 3 whining about losing money.

Sorry American Auto, but I drive a Toyota for a reason.

I have owned 4 Fords...you couldn't GIVE me a fucking Ford at this point, they aren't worth it.

The SECOND I found out about the Job Bank, where union workers get paid to do NOTHING, I lost any ounce of pity I may have had for the American Auto Industry.

You suck.

Your products are crap.

I would work for Toyota.

I would work for Honda.

I would kiss Tesla's founder's butt in Macy's Christmas Window display for a job.

I would NEVER work for you 3 assclowns.

DIAF!

Wall Street...you are, have always been, and will always be, a bunch of con-artists.

I hate you.

NONE of you jerks should have been given a dime of tax payer money.

If your business is "too big to fail" then it is too big to EXIST!

YES! and BOO!

2008-11-05T09:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, now that the elections are OVER, yes, as a matter of fact, I DO have an opinion.

I am glad Barack won.

Hell, I even called a person I swore I would never speak to again, I was so fucking happy he won.

Dingbat Palin, go back to the frozen tundra and STAY THERE!
Seriously...you are a joke....and not a funny one.

McCain, what were you thinking when you chose that dipshit as your running mate?

Barack, you have one hell of a tough job to look forward to, but I TRUST that you can do it.

WE can do it.

Put you Big Kid Panties on, America, WE have a lot of work to do.

Sometimes...I Really Wish I was a Judge

2008-10-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659—CASE OF THE
PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years
old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this:

When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but
notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint
Twins are Coming” and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
“Logan’s Liniment will reduce
the swelling, and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a
deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the
Trick,” and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and
sat under a sign that
said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this
Accident”… I just lost
it.”

CASE DISMISSED!

SCORE!!..I LOVE the Flea Market

2008-10-25T12:39:00.001-07:00

I found an embroidered Piano Shawl at the Flea Market for $10.

SCORE!!

This is something I have wanted for many years.

I love it!

Bless Them and Release Them

2008-10-24T08:29:00.000-07:00

Once in a great while I miss a few people I used to know.

It doesn't really do me a lot of good, but it doesn't do a lot of bad either.

Truth be told, I don't really have any hatred for any ex, though a few of them hate me with the fire of a thousand suns.

Truth be told, no one likes getting left, even if they know very well that the relationship is toxic.

I am glad Dereck found someone he's happy with, because it sure as hell wasn't me...but I do miss him from time to time.

He wasn't a bad person and I never did hate the man...but when it comes down to it, if being around someone makes you miserable, then it isn't a relationship you should continue.
Sometimes a freindship can be salvaged, sometimes not.
In this case, Dereck spent half of our relationship telling me that we weren't friends, so it wasn't too hard to see what was going to happen.
Every time I heard that, a little peice of my affection for him just died.

I am like that.

"If we are not friends, then why am I involved with you at all?" just kept running through my head.

I am glad he found someone that makes him happy.

Too bad it never could have been with us.

Because I left, the man hates my guts.

So it goes.

However, since he has a new girlfriend, it means I can go to the kite-park again without having to worry about the whole "you-left-me-you-evil-bitch..." crap.

THAT is a good thing!

Onward and upward.

PETA has Gone Crazy..AGAIN....

2008-10-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

Save the SEA KITTENS?!??

Seriously PETA, do you KNOW how bat-shit insane you are?

You people DO realize that I would eat less meat if you shut the hell up, right?

As it is, EVERY time you clowns come up with a new and interesting way to be a pain in the world's ass, I enjoy the hell out of eating something that would piss you people off.

I don't care if you nit-wits call salmon, "Bambi-Fins", I am STILL going to eat it.

That plant you are munching on had feelings too, you know...but you don't hear me whining "Won't SOMEONE think of the SALAD?!"

The Swiss have lost their minds.

2008-10-20T08:31:00.000-07:00

Switzerland Places Ban on the Humiliation of Plants

Wait...What?

"Beat Keller is a molecular biologist at the University of Zurich. Keller recently asked permission of the government to conduct a field trial of a genetically modified wheat bred with a resistance to fungus.
In order to actually gain permission to go ahead with the trial, he needed to hash out the potential threats to the dignity of the wheat."

"The majority of the panel agrees that genetically modified plants are ok, “as long as their independence, i.e., reproductive ability and adaptive ability, are ensured.” In other words, no forced sterility and terminator genes."

“Where does it stop?” asks Yves Poirier, a molecular biologist at the laboratory of plant biotechnology at the University of Lausanne. “Should we now defend the dignity of microbes and viruses?”

"How humiliated is a boiled potato? A peeled carrot? Corn turned into a lowly, tortilla chip meant for dipping?"

Are these people whacked out of their minds?
Do they think this is Day of the Triffids and our food is suddenly going to rise up and kick our asses?

Dignity for plants...you people are making me LOVE mashing the crap out of my potatoes.
You, tomato....swim with your salsa brethren and STFU.
I don't CARE if you like onion or not.

This goes right up there with the whack-jobs at PETA who want me to Empathize with the Poor Lobsters.

(For those of you think I am kidding, behold PETA wants to open a Lobster Empathy Center .)

Hopping Mad!

2008-10-16T08:36:00.000-07:00

AIG, you people suck like a Hoover!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,438681,00.html

"First there was the $440,000 American Insurance Group Inc. spent entertaining executives days after receiving an $85 billion lifeline from the Federal Reserve, now it's $86,000 for a hunting trip in England as the faltering company reaped another $37.8 billion in taxpayer funded loans."

Excuse me?

I want to kick every one of you dirtbags in the ass and TAKE my hard-earned money BACK!

I DID NOT approve of the farce of a bail-out that was shoved through without any real investigation as to whether it would actually WORK...and obviously, those that got all that FREE MONEY are treating it like it is FREE MONEY.

Has credit loosened up?
No.

Are banks lending to each other?
No.

So we, as taxpayers, are ANOTHER $700 BILLION in the hole...on top of the fact that we are so far in debt as a nation that I can't even count that high anymore...and it is only getting worse.

I don't know about y'all, but I haven't had a raise in 2+ years.
I have ONE debt - my car...and I INTENTIONALLY bought a small, economical car that I could afford.
I am NOT up to eyeballs in debt on credit cards - I have ONE.
It has a $500 limit because that is how I want it.
I pay it in full every month.

I don't really mind paying my taxes, but having my tax-money WASTED pisses me off.

AIG - I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!

That is why he is on my money...

2008-10-09T11:48:00.000-07:00

“Gentlemen, I have had men watching you for a long time, and I am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won, you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the bank and annul its charter, I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves. I intend to rout you out, and by the Eternal God I will rout you out!”

~ President Andrew Jackson to the second US Bank

How many years has it been and yet banks are STILL pulling the same shit?

Boo Bats

2008-10-07T10:47:00.001-07:00

Here are two finished Boo Bats.
They are fun little guys to knit because they don't take much time...
...and they are sickeningly adorable.

Other than the Blue Meanie, and the tree, I made all this stuff.

One of these days I am going to make a Blue Meanie stuffie, as soon as all collective brain cells decide to work in unison.
(Stop laughing.)

BOO!

2008-10-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

http://mochimochiland.com/shop/items/boo.php

I am knitting bats.

FINALLY!! Off the Island!

2008-09-30T15:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, I will miss the view of San Francisco...but that's about it.

No more 55 mile commute to work.

No more jerk-neighbors playing BAD rap at all hours of the day and night.

No more crazy woman next door who yells at her kids all day.

No more shingles flying off the roof every time the wind blows.

No more BAY BRIDGE!!!

Everyone loves to bag on the South Bay, but all in all, I prefer living here.
San Francisco is fun to VISIT, but living there?
Not so much.

SWPPP = meh

2008-09-11T13:23:00.000-07:00

Dangit...just when I actually HAVE stuff to babble about, work actually has WORK for me to do.

Ugh....SWPPP documents.

Can you say "endless typing of legal mumbo-jumbo"?

(ARGHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

I knew you could.

Meh.

I'll be back.

Elijah and The Manikins

2008-09-07T12:52:00.000-07:00

There was a part one to this picture series, but it seems to have vanished off the face of the planet.

D'OH!

Elijah is the cute little knitted elephant.

He was, for the most part, a fun little guy to knit.

There are a couple of tricksey spots where the use of a crochet hook will save one from yanking their hair out, or breaking a needle, but other than that, he is very well designed.

No seams is a GOOD THING!!

Pesky Manikins!

NOM!!

Resurrescted UFO

2008-09-03T14:55:00.000-07:00

Nothing like finding a partially knitted project that I have NO CLUE what the heck it was in the first place.

Hmmmm....what to do?

Knitting UFO Resurected into a shrug.

We'll see how well this one works out since I am playing it by ear.

I have a love/hate relationship with Homespun Yarn.

On one hand, it is nice, soft and fluffy...and it is acrylic, so it can be thrown into the wash.

One the other hand, projects need to be tackled with some care because it can be a royal pain to crochet with, and due to the loft, it can make a skinny person look like a technicolor bear.

Three Jelly Babies

2008-08-29T15:36:00.000-07:00

Here are all three of the Jelly Babies I have knit so far.

The Purple Guy is the tall one.

Orange is medium height.

Yellow is short and fat.

All in all I think I like the medium sized one the best.

They knit up very fast, which is good because it takes several of them to look right.

Jelly Babies are herd-candy.

Jelly Baby in Progress

2008-08-29T13:09:00.000-07:00

This is the small sized Jelly Baby I am currently working on.

This purple Jelly Baby is the large one.

As soon as I get this little guy done, I will have a picture up of all three sizes, and get the pattern written out in a somewhat coherant fashion.

I started making these guys after I managed to talk Mr. Gothric out of the Doctor Who scarf that he thought he wanted me to knit...until he remembered that he is always hot and never wears scarves anyway...and I would rather be boiled in my own pudding than knit ANYTHING over 12 feet long ever again.

I will be content with knitting Doctor Who's power food.

Happy Knitting, Folks.

Do Pro-Lifer's Eat Eggs?

2008-08-26T13:23:00.000-07:00

Sick humor?

You bet...but y'all wouldn't have it any other way, now would you?

Big Thompson River-Trading Post View

2008-08-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

Big Thompson River taken August 23, 2008

This picture was taken from the little foot bridge that sits behind The Indian Trading Post, about half way down the Thompson Canyon.

The owner's have always been gracious hosts and allowed us to access their private bridge so we could take good pictures of my beloved river.

(Thanks guys!)

Cell Phone Weirdness

2008-08-25T09:24:00.000-07:00

Okay, I had NO problem blogging from the cell phone in Estes Park, but it freaked out after that.

Still trying to work it out.

I have a bunch of pictures to post as soon as I can figure the silly thing out, so be patient, folks.

Big Thompson River

2008-08-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

Estes Park, CO

August 22, 2008

Yeah, I know cell phone pictures suck.

I don't really have words for Estes Park.

This is the place where we spent most of our free time when I was a little kid.

I haven't been here in 30 years, yet there are some things that I remember like it was yesterday.

Estes Park

2008-08-22T07:13:00.000-07:00

We leave for Estes Park in about an hour.

With any luck I will be posting a few pictures from the cell phone today.

This is the town that we went to nearly every weekend when I was a little kid.

At one time we lived in the canyon just down the river....many years ago.

We moved to California not too long after the Big Thompson Disaster...but more on that event later.

Happy trails, folks.

The Dam Store!Thompson Canyon, COAugust

2008-08-22T02:45:00.000-07:00

The Dam Store!Thompson Canyon, COAugust 22, 2008

2008-08-15T09:16:00.000-07:00

Jelly Babies!

Psssst!! What's my password?

2008-08-14T16:43:00.000-07:00

Haven't been babbling much because I can't remember my flippin' password, but somehow THIS computer knows.

All hail the work computer.

I'll be travelling next week so I might actually have something to say for once.

Until then...what's my password?

2008-06-18T14:59:00.000-07:00

Josephine the Cocoa Puff Queen

Rrrrrriiibbbiiiitttt!!!

2008-02-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

There's only one thing wrong with this sweater....

I hate it.

Nothing like knitting a sweater until it is nearly done before you finally admit to yourself that you despise the thing.

I may like the speed of using larger needles but I simply don't like the finished product.

For this sweater, using the yarn weight and the needle size suggested it was too loose in the stitch and looked sloppy.

Frogging.

All that work...gone in a matter of moments.

Meh.

Oh well.

Better to frog and reknit into something fabulous then be stuck with an icky sweater that will never see the light of day.

Stitches West

2008-02-01T11:19:00.000-08:00

As much as I want to go, I am not going to.

I am not in the right state of mind to be left unsupervised in a convention full of knitters and oodles of yarn and spiffy tools.

The words, "Financial Disaster" keep flashing through my mind.

I have pretty good self control if I am in a familliar setting and my choices are somewhat limitted, but at this event the temptations are everywhere and the choices vast.

*sigh*

Being a responsible adult sucks.

Waltzing Mathilda Wingnut

2008-01-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

FUCKING AUTOSAVE!!

I HATE that shit~!

I had a nice LONG post written out and then it got eatten by the autosave and turned into vocabubarf!

As I was piucking up Mr. Gothric, I was accosted by an asshole at the Stoplight From Hell.

Mind you...it is raining, grey, crappy, and dark.

This intersection SUCKS!!

In my rear-view mirror is a grey car without headlights on, and a terrified looking driver-boyfriend and his Psycho-Harpy in the passenger seat who is flipping me off.

WTF Bitch?!

I can count to One.

See?

Psycho-Harpy GETS OUT OFF THE CAR to scream unintelligeble obscenities at my passenger side window, then gets back into the car to torture the poor guy driving with her insane shit.

I drive a Yaris.

It has MANUAL WINDOWS!!

Even if I wanted to listen to this crazy bitch's ranting I would have to climb across the seat to roll the window down to do it.

Uhhhh.... no.

To the Poor Bastard Driver:

Here is a little suggestion...

On a GREY day...kind of like TODAY, while driving IN THE RAIN, in your GREY CAR...oh...and while it happens to be GETTING DARK, you might...JUST MIGHT, mind you....think about one little thing, m'kay?

TURN ON YOUR FUCKING HEADLIGHTS SO I CAN SEE YOUR DUMB ASS!!!!

LASAGNA!!!

2008-01-21T12:58:00.001-08:00

Grrrr....stupid photoloader....

I went on a cooking binge this weekend, as I often do.

This weekend I made both Lasagna and Chicken Noodle Soup (from scratch).

How Mr. Gothric and I aren't the size of two minivans I will never know...I can cook!

There are a few photos from the Lasagna-Porn series but Flickr and I seem to be at odds with each other.
Hmmm....I'll have to give this a little thought.

If I can make a wicked lasagna I can sure as hell figure out how to post my pictures of it!

GOT IT!!

Are you done yet??!, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

Boil, boil...toil and trouble...ooops...that's a different pot.
;)

Lasagna filling, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

The filling is ready, now if only those noodles would HURRY UP!!
I NEVER use no-boil noodles in my lasagna.
What can I say?
I like it old-school.

Are you done yet?, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

10 more minutes to go.
My stomach is busily trying to devour my ribcage, it smells SO GOOD!!!

LASAGNA!!!, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

What do you mean you need to cool for a few minutes?!?!!!

Yum!, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

Supper Time!!

Silly Putty in Gravy

2008-01-14T14:53:00.000-08:00

Nothing like typing a nice long post that is actually somewhat coherant and funny...then the computer decided to go "Ptewy!" and my post went to Mars...or wherever posts go that can never be found again.

Maybe that is what keeps the Mars Rover going way past its shelf-life.

It is running on mis-sent blog posts.

Every couple of months I get it into my head to spoil my cat.

He is an indoor beastie who gets dry food and whatever he can manage to beg from me since begging from Mr. Gothric gets him nowhere.

"I know..." says me, the Dumb Human, "I'll get him a couple of cans of tasty wet kitty food as a treat".

My cat can think into my brain.

He isn't quite as good at it as the last one was, but I know it wasn't MY mind that said, "You don't think I am going to EAT that crap, do you lady? It looks like Silly Putty in Gravy."

He was right.

It did.

He wouldn't even touch the gravy.

Mind you this cat eats pickles and olives...but wet cat food?

HELL NO!

I can't say that I blame him.

He has been my trusted food testor for years.
If HE won't eat it then chances are I shouldn't either and I certainly wouldn't want ANY of that icky wet food!

So...it went into the trash and he gets actual REAL FOOD treats from me instead.

Anyone need a couple of cans of Silly Putty in Gravy?

Squiddyknit!

2008-01-09T09:21:00.001-08:00

Squiddyknit!, originally uploaded by st_gothric.

I finally figured out the squid pattern I was having so much trouble with.

Here is Mr. Gothric's Treo cozy....when it isn't devouring the Manikins.

Mmmm...tasty Manikins.

It really is an adorable little thing but MAN that pattern was a pain in the butt to figure out.
(Anticraft ladies, I love your ideas for the most part, but you REALLY need to work on how you write up your instructions.)

Oh...and the photo editor on Flickr is the friend of the cruddy digital picture taker...like myself.
:)

Next project is the 3-Hour Sweater.
The pattern is from the 30's so it is an adventure as well.

3-Hours?

I highly doubt that even though it is knitted on size 15 US needles, which is like knitting with logs to me.

AWESOME Deal!

2008-01-08T14:19:00.000-08:00

I have been drooling over this brooch for months...and now it is on sale!

Got a goth you want to make giddy?

It is on sale for $3.99!!!

Myspace Part Two

2008-01-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

After getting fed up with myspace and deleting my account about a month ago, I now find that for a few things, myspace has a purpose.

There are really only a few bands that I will cough up money to see, but if they come to town, I want to know.
Myspace is good for that.

I am still bummed that I missed Elvis Costello, but I will get over it.

Myspace also happens to be the one place that I can contact a couple of old friends who don't seem to go online anyplace else.

Live and learn.

I haven't been my usual talkative self as of late because I really just needed to take a break from everything.

I knit a squid...pictures will be coming soon.

T-Bone'd

2008-01-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

"T-Bone Burnett has saved me more times than Jesus Christ...and that's a fact."

A great quote from a great friend.

I was thinking about that this morning as I drove through the raging downpour that is drowning the Bay Area with rain, trees, and hydroplaning cars.

This is one of those days that makes me really wish I didn't have to drive all the way back home because it is going to be a LONG, slow, drive.
Friday night is always a hellish drive home but sideways rain should make it a real adventure.

No worries...T-Bone will save my sanity.

All in all I would rather be at home with the cat, human, and a cup (vat) of tea.

Fingering it Out

2007-12-19T11:24:00.000-08:00

Okay Mr. Squid Pattern...it's you and me.

You have melted my brains but I have finally figured you out.

There WILL be a squiddy at the and of this.

Pictures to follow.

WTF?! Who Made These Nasty Things?!

2007-12-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

EWWWW!

YEAH...like these are appropriate for your preteen girl?

Honestly, what kind of a world do we live in?

Am I simply a bit of a prude because I literally feel like sicking-up when I see stuff like this?

I wonder if these nasty things were made by the same lovely company that sold thongs for girls (as in elementary school age) to the GAP?

I'm glad Wal*Mart (Still Evil none-the-less) had the decency to pull them off the shelves but it makes me ill to think that they put them out for sale in the first place.

Oh...and while I am at it...How are you enjoying those Christmas Decorations you got at Wal*Mart?

Living in Shadows

2007-12-13T07:45:00.000-08:00

I finally deleted my Myspace account because out of all my "friends" no one actually TALKED to me.

I had that account so I could talk to friends and over time, realized that I don't really have any that want me around.

The people that I thought were my friends I really haven't seen in years.

It's really depressing to be honest.

I try to talk to them, but they have no time or inclination to talk to me anymore.
It got to the point where checking my Myspace account was about the same to going home day after day, week after week, to an answering machine that no one calls.
I figure after 2 years if anyone wanted to talk to me, they would have, so it was just time for me to go.

It is no secret that I have been battling depression all of my life.
The holidays are NOT helping matters any.
Since 1997 the holidays are a living hell for me.
That was the year I lost my husband, home, and business in the same week and ended up living in a van for nearly a year.

Nothing like being homeless for the holidays.

I have never gotten over it.

Sick thing is, I was working a full time job the whole time I was homeless, I was just one of those people that fell through the cracks.
No one wants to rent a room to someone that doesn't already have one.
You would think after 10 years of not being homeless I would have gotten over it, but I haven't.

I have had that unwanted feeling ever since.
It is the root of a lot of my anxiety.
If I dare to find happiness it will get taken away in the blink of an eye.

Christmas is not a happy time for me.

So it's a Crime if...

2007-12-06T16:17:00.000-08:00

Apparently our government thinks it is not a hate crime if you beat the hell out of a gay person so long as they are white, but if they are black, latino, Asian, purple with green spots it IS a HATE CRIME!!!

Lame.

Last I checked when someone is stomping on your head, they hate you.

Why is it a heineous crime if the person is straight but perfectly acceptable if they are gay?

Do we really need to micro-manage this country to death in order for people to act like humane beings?

Are people truly THAT homophobic?

Why?

Oh.

That's right.

Religion.

Isn't despising a whole group of people because they happen to date their same sex a bit of a crime of hatred as well?

The Chimp Speaks

2007-12-04T09:37:00.000-08:00

As an American I am ashamed every time I hear The Chimp in Charge open up his gaping maw.
Out of all the human beings in this nation, THAT imbicile is the best we have to offer up to lead us?
THAT fool is our face to the world??
No wonder this country is a planetary joke.
I don't blame Iran for arming themselves to the teeth...look at their neighbors.
Do you think they can defend their country with water balloons and pillow fights?
I don't want to keep dumping money into Iraq while they do nothing to regain control of their own nation.
THAT is how the terrorists win.
It really is brilliant.
Let the US spend themselves into the poor house, THEN you invade not with planes and psychobunnies, but financially.
Turn the mighty US into a third world country...and the real kicker is, we are doing it to ourselves already.
Our education system is a joke.
We have standardized our kids so they fit the lowest common denominator.
Jobs are being outsourced out of the country while toxic products are being imported by the megaton.
Walmarts around the country have crushed Mom and Pops right out of business so that in many communities, there really is no other choice but to shop and work there.
We have lost our national pride because we produce nothing to be proud of anymore.
People are losing their homes because they bought a Mansion when they could barely afford a shack, yet they take no personal responsibility for their actions and expect Uncle Sugar to bail them out.
In a short 7 years we have gone from having a budget surplus to being deeper in debt as a nation then we have ever been in history.
I think our Chimp in Charge has a lot of damn gall telling ANYONE how to run their country when I look at what is happening to my own, and if I had the neighbors that Iran does I would be locked and loaded as well.
I don't give a shit about Iran, Iraq, or how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
I want my country to wake up and DEMAND better from our fellow patriots and ourselves.