Sometimes...I Really Wish I was a Judge

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659—CASE OF THE
PREGNANT LADY

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.
She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again.

The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.
The judge asked the man (about 20 years
old) what he had to say for himself.

The man replied, “Well your Honor, it was like this:

When the lady got on the bus, I couldn’t help but
notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, “The Double Mint
Twins are Coming” and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said,
“Logan’s Liniment will reduce
the swelling, and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a
deodorant sign that said, “William’s Big Stick Did the
Trick,” and I could hardly contain myself.

BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and
sat under a sign that
said, “Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this
Accident”… I just lost
it.”

CASE DISMISSED!

SCORE!!..I LOVE the Flea Market

I found an embroidered Piano Shawl at the Flea Market for $10.

SCORE!!

This is something I have wanted for many years.

I love it!

Bless Them and Release Them

Once in a great while I miss a few people I used to know.

It doesn't really do me a lot of good, but it doesn't do a lot of bad either.

Truth be told, I don't really have any hatred for any ex, though a few of them hate me with the fire of a thousand suns.

Truth be told, no one likes getting left, even if they know very well that the relationship is toxic.

I am glad Dereck found someone he's happy with, because it sure as hell wasn't me...but I do miss him from time to time.

He wasn't a bad person and I never did hate the man...but when it comes down to it, if being around someone makes you miserable, then it isn't a relationship you should continue.
Sometimes a freindship can be salvaged, sometimes not.
In this case, Dereck spent half of our relationship telling me that we weren't friends, so it wasn't too hard to see what was going to happen.
Every time I heard that, a little peice of my affection for him just died.

I am like that.

"If we are not friends, then why am I involved with you at all?" just kept running through my head.

I am glad he found someone that makes him happy.

Too bad it never could have been with us.

Because I left, the man hates my guts.

So it goes.

However, since he has a new girlfriend, it means I can go to the kite-park again without having to worry about the whole "you-left-me-you-evil-bitch..." crap.

THAT is a good thing!

Onward and upward.

PETA has Gone Crazy..AGAIN....

Save the SEA KITTENS?!??

Seriously PETA, do you KNOW how bat-shit insane you are?

You people DO realize that I would eat less meat if you shut the hell up, right?

As it is, EVERY time you clowns come up with a new and interesting way to be a pain in the world's ass, I enjoy the hell out of eating something that would piss you people off.

I don't care if you nit-wits call salmon, "Bambi-Fins", I am STILL going to eat it.

That plant you are munching on had feelings too, you know...but you don't hear me whining "Won't SOMEONE think of the SALAD?!"

The Swiss have lost their minds.

Switzerland Places Ban on the Humiliation of Plants

Wait...What?

"Beat Keller is a molecular biologist at the University of Zurich. Keller recently asked permission of the government to conduct a field trial of a genetically modified wheat bred with a resistance to fungus.
In order to actually gain permission to go ahead with the trial, he needed to hash out the potential threats to the dignity of the wheat."

"The majority of the panel agrees that genetically modified plants are ok, “as long as their independence, i.e., reproductive ability and adaptive ability, are ensured.” In other words, no forced sterility and terminator genes."

“Where does it stop?” asks Yves Poirier, a molecular biologist at the laboratory of plant biotechnology at the University of Lausanne. “Should we now defend the dignity of microbes and viruses?”

"How humiliated is a boiled potato? A peeled carrot? Corn turned into a lowly, tortilla chip meant for dipping?"

Are these people whacked out of their minds?
Do they think this is Day of the Triffids and our food is suddenly going to rise up and kick our asses?

Dignity for plants...you people are making me LOVE mashing the crap out of my potatoes.
You, tomato....swim with your salsa brethren and STFU.
I don't CARE if you like onion or not.

This goes right up there with the whack-jobs at PETA who want me to Empathize with the Poor Lobsters.

(For those of you think I am kidding, behold PETA wants to open a Lobster Empathy Center .)

Hopping Mad!

AIG, you people suck like a Hoover!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,438681,00.html

"First there was the $440,000 American Insurance Group Inc. spent entertaining executives days after receiving an $85 billion lifeline from the Federal Reserve, now it's $86,000 for a hunting trip in England as the faltering company reaped another $37.8 billion in taxpayer funded loans."

Excuse me?

I want to kick every one of you dirtbags in the ass and TAKE my hard-earned money BACK!

I DID NOT approve of the farce of a bail-out that was shoved through without any real investigation as to whether it would actually WORK...and obviously, those that got all that FREE MONEY are treating it like it is FREE MONEY.

Has credit loosened up?
No.

Are banks lending to each other?
No.

So we, as taxpayers, are ANOTHER $700 BILLION in the hole...on top of the fact that we are so far in debt as a nation that I can't even count that high anymore...and it is only getting worse.

I don't know about y'all, but I haven't had a raise in 2+ years.
I have ONE debt - my car...and I INTENTIONALLY bought a small, economical car that I could afford.
I am NOT up to eyeballs in debt on credit cards - I have ONE.
It has a $500 limit because that is how I want it.
I pay it in full every month.

I don't really mind paying my taxes, but having my tax-money WASTED pisses me off.

AIG - I WANT MY MONEY BACK!!

That is why he is on my money...

“Gentlemen, I have had men watching you for a long time, and I am convinced that you have used the funds of the bank to speculate in the breadstuffs of the country. When you won, you divided the profits amongst you, and when you lost, you charged it to the bank. You tell me that if I take the deposits from the bank and annul its charter, I shall ruin ten thousand families. That may be true, gentlemen, but that is your sin! Should I let you go on, you will ruin fifty thousand families, and that would be my sin! You are a den of vipers and thieves. I intend to rout you out, and by the Eternal God I will rout you out!”

~ President Andrew Jackson to the second US Bank

How many years has it been and yet banks are STILL pulling the same shit?

Boo Bats

Here are two finished Boo Bats.
They are fun little guys to knit because they don't take much time...
...and they are sickeningly adorable.


Other than the Blue Meanie, and the tree, I made all this stuff.

One of these days I am going to make a Blue Meanie stuffie, as soon as all collective brain cells decide to work in unison.
(Stop laughing.)

BOO!

http://mochimochiland.com/shop/items/boo.php

I am knitting bats.